Oh, Internets...How I long for the care free days when only once a week I felt like for maybe, five minutes, I felt like I might lose my mind. Those days are like the ones where you are sitting by a crystal blue pool looking toned and tanned while sipping some delicious treat of a drink.Days like today? Days like I have been having for the past few weeks? They are more akin to lying naked after having gained an extra 80 lbs, been covered in honey, feathers, and maybe some saran wrap, sat on an ant hill that also happens to be hot asphalt covered with glass and have the entire Beltway's worth of traffic critique your fabulous body while you beg for some water that is just a centimeter or two away. Did I mention you have also been beaten to a pulp and some hot lava is just careening towards … [Read more...]
Ladies Please! Enough is Enough!
I'm a bit too fired up today for this to be Book Tuesday. The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom on TLC. Have you seen it? I've watched a few DVR'd episodes myself. I even wrote about it at DC Metro Moms a few weeks back. Now Newsweek has picked up the scent of this latest 'clash of the mommies' and as I read the article I just pretty much flipped out. There was under the breath muttering as I got breakfast together. I completely forgot about my pounding headache and just wanted to spit venom.I am all for everyone having their own opinion. Everyone does things differently but I really take offense when I hear other women saying that, "there is no reason for you (that would be us women folk) to be at work. If you didn't want to raise your children, you should not have had them. It's child … [Read more...]
Proof of My Bad Mothering Skilz
It is a bad way to start the week when it is noon and your child is still in their pajamas, bed-head in full effect. Did I mention that her pajamas do not even match? Nope. One half is purple and brown toile the top half beige and pink flowers. A round of applause for all you other mothers out there who are having a day like this as well.Now seriously, go check out the giveaways over here!!! … [Read more...]
Remove the Breakables Mommy’s Feeling Joan Crawfordesque
What is it about those days when you have an early morning appointment that suddenly turns rational, normally sane people into total nut jobs? I schedule these appointments to a.) get them out of the way and b.) there is less wait and chaos in the doctor's office at that time of the morning. But it doesn't matter. I still no matter what time I get up, how much I plan and pack ahead somehow all hell breaks loose.1. Wake up early to get some work out of the way. Computer inexplicably shuts down. I take it as a sign to move on and shower.2. T.D. wakes up a full 45 minutes earlier than normal throwing off the flow. I bounce back as she is happy in her room with books and a sippy cup. Which makes me wonder, should she be off the sippy? No time to think of that now I must get ready!3. Stalk … [Read more...]
Overheards
SCENE: Hotel hallway early Friday morning.Me: (BIG YAWN) Oh! I'm so tired.... Mother: (In hotel hallway with H) Well you have every right to be?Me: Huh? Why? (I didn't cook dinner, I've stayed in a hotel all week without the kid)Mother: Well.... Me: (Badgering) What?! Why do I have a right to be tired? (H creeps down the hall a bit towards the elevator)Mother: Because it's that time of the month and...Me: MOM!!! Geez! That is not why I'm tired! GOD!! Augh! (Loud huffy sigh by me as I feel I'm 14 again)Mother: I'm just saying. Why else would you be tired?Me: (Resisting the urge to say, "because I've been out all hours of the night gettin' my drink, swerve and drug on..." just to get a rise out of her proving in fact that I am 14.) Because I've stayed up late each night this week and gotten … [Read more...]
Sneakers are for Your Feet. Not Your Head.
Am I right? If you started wearing gloves on your nose or putting your retainer in your ear it wouldn't work out so well and people would deem you not so bright, so why are some places such as Facebook continuing to encourage the despicably twisted yet pervasive thought- breasts for feeding is bad. Breasts to be augmented and oggled is good. Riiiiiight. Except that not only does this Facebook episode, the MYSpace one or the Harvard Medical School incident (see NY TIMES) not only demean women further it sets us back. David Wescott, a blogger, made his point well on this topic:Facebook has come down on both sides of a “free speech issue” here - once clamping down, once letting speech and organizing go - and in each case it’s come down in a way that arguably sets women back.Breasts. Yes, they … [Read more...]
Scary Even to Me
Sometimes life just gets to be too much. No amount of wine or cigarettes (I wish!) will do. A nap, a good book, or a time out just isn't sufficient. Pedicure? Yeah right.What you need is a good crying jag. Or a meltdown of such epic proportions that has built up for so long that you scare even yourself back into normalcy. Your kid? Well, I feel I have scarred mine for life now and spent a good half hour apologizing to a child who just looked up at me with huge eyes. How did this happen?1. Lack of sleep. Sleep has been positively elusive to me the last few days and now weeks. Each day it gets worse. (Do NOT suggest Tylenol PM or some natural remedy for sleep the do NOT work on this woman) That does not make for a totally sane Mommy. 2. Ongoing and unfinished house projects. Debris in … [Read more...]
White Picket Fences
I'm not a white picket fence girl. I'm more of a wrought iron woman or a tall solid stone wall that would surround my compound. You know my compound. The one I'll have someday when I actually complete my book and sell it. Anyway, back to that stereotypical dream of the white picket fence.I had a conversation recently with a friend who stated, "I'm not about the white picket fence, that whole suburban thing with kids. It's not what I want." I detected a note of disdain in her voice. She might as well as said, "Blech!" and spit after that sentence. At first it made me angry because after all I live in suburbia and I tote T.D. around on a daily basis. I go to the community pool and take walks on the trails in my 'hood. I took what she said personally. As if it's ok for those other people … [Read more...]
Please Leave A Message
Yesterday I was running around like a mad woman, what else is new, and I came home to this-Hi Vicky, it's ... (my neighbor) I hope you are having a great workout and a good day. I'm bored and I was just thinking that maybe I should start my own blog about the monotony of motherhood and how your kid can cause it's diaper to explode and you clean that up and redress them only to have them puke all over the new outfit so you have to clean them again, and redress them once more. Then your second kid says they want to play outside because they haven't been outside in days with this weather so you bundle them all up only to have them look at you from the front door and say, "Watch penguins? I want to watch penguins." I'm bored. You don't have to call me back.Oh can we not all empathize with this … [Read more...]
The Yoke of Guilt
Guilt is nothing new to a mother. It's as old as the profession itself. There are different types of guilt, strains if you will, and I am just beginning to discover them.There's the guilt you feel when you take time for yourself even though you may need it.The guilt of going back to work, or when you work late, or have to go to work when your child is sick. That guilt used to ping me a lot in my former days.Then there's the guilt you feel when you are there in their daily life, but aren't always mentally present. They might be playing nearby as you work from home guilt is what I'm talking about. Sometimes I feel guilty just because I am home with her. I felt like that yesterday in the middle of Tot Thyme while my husband works his ass off at two jobs, I'm on a gym floor playing with … [Read more...]