We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wire Hangers

We've got plates! Yup, that's right. When Mummy gets mad in this house plates get broken. Sorry, Crate and Barrel. I guess dishwasher-safe is no longer enough. You need to start making Mummy-safe plates now too.Behold, Exhibit A:After a day of non-stop teething induced screaming and fretfulness from Dash Two, H calling to say he would be home "a bit late" and TD going into the classic terrible three meltdown mode I just lost it. I was cutting up tiny bite-sized pieces of steak for her and the screaming was just non-stop from everyone in the house. I yelled, "Enough!" and slammed the knife and fork down on the plate and it just cracked.Can you tell I like my steak rare? Mmmm...blood.Episode 7 of Exposed Brick is NOW! Seriously, if you aren't watching this you might as well crawl back under … [Read more...]

Close to Me

"Momma, can I sit next to you while you eat breakfast?"I hear this almost every morning. There is much chair scraping as she drags her kitchen chair right up next to mine. After a few moments she asks, "Momma, can I sit in your lap while you eat your breakfast?" Her big brown eyes look up at me with a quiet excitement I can't remember ever possessing. After placing her on my lap she pauses and then burrows into me, compacting herself into a tiny ball. She squirms as if she is looking for a spot that will position her even closer to me. These days it is never close enough. If she could I imagine she would soon ask, "Momma, can I carve you open and crawl back inside?" … [Read more...]

Have You Seen My Rose-Colored Glasses?

Yesterday, I wrote a rather bleak post. I was going to delete it and move on. Then I thought, what if someone else out there needs to hear this? What if someone else out there is having that kind of day? I know that in my darker moments just finding someone who is going through the same thing has bolstered me immensely. So here it is, I titled it 'In the Tunnel' and while today is warmer and brighter and I am lucky to have two such incredibly smiley children I don't believe that days like this one are gone completely. It would be nice to think that poof! you take a pill and instantly your world is better. That's what the drug companies want us to think isn't it? That after a few weeks you begin to see life through rose-colored glasses once again and suddenly that depleted glass is … [Read more...]

News from the Front

Live from the front lines of parenthood: We took a lot of hits this week. Yesterday we suffered our heaviest casualties to date. The night before was long without much sleep had by any of the troops and when day broke we were already exhausted.A rundown:Wednesday night's piggyback ride to bed went horribly awry as TD slipped off H's back and he tried to pull her back up. We all heard the pop and the whole block probably heard the screams that ensued afterwards. One visit to the ER later and she is splinted and wearing a sling. The endless round of doctor visits, waiting on hold over the phone and giving her pain meds has begun. We honestly have no idea what is wrong. The x-rays are inconclusive and the kid is learning to make do using her left hand. She is a strong little soldier. An … [Read more...]

Pregnancy Hormones or a Case of “That’s Life”?

Next week we find out the gender of Dash Two and it could not come at a better time. OK, maybe today would have been good, but at this moment, it is needed.I need to feel some sort of connection with this being who is for all intensive purposes the size of an apple. Sure, I have now heard the heartbeat, which puts me at ease, but I need to see it. To know that it is growing normally and all looks good. Once we know the gender we can assign a name and make it personal. I can plan and begin to get excited. Also known as soliciting companies to give my boy or girl new crap to review. Heh. I can no longer think of Dash Two as just the reason my breasts are now possibly a new wonder of the world or why my otherwise delectable coconut birthday cake makes me puke it up each time I attempted … [Read more...]

What Gives?

I found an old post the other day from back in the day. OK, it was just 2006 but it was all about Unrealistic Expectations. I wrote the following lines, "As it stands right now H & I are pretty even. I would hate it though ifsuddenly I'm a haus frau with T.D. hanging on me AND I'm trying to get creativeand write. It ain't happening. Something has to eventually give."Snort.Looking back now and seeing where I am, I realize that um, that is exactly where I am. The only difference being that now I am trying to wrap my brain around how I'll do all those little errands, be a nice mother, make that a sane mother and wife (who remembers to affectionate), be a writer who makes a living and take care of an infant and toddler. Whew! It is no wonder we women think we have to be Super Woman just … [Read more...]

A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,I suppose, it being Mother’s Day and all, I could have bought you a nice flowery, probably pink card from Hallmark or American Greetings and that would have sufficed. Except that while those cards all say wonderful and true things sometimes only a letter will do. So here you go- a nice sappy, heartfelt THANK YOU, just for you this Mother’s Day.Thank you for all that you have done for me this year whether it was coming to take care of me in my time of need, when life got too crazy and I simply needed my mother or when a beautiful deck just needed to be built. My yard is forever changed and it just goes to show that you do in fact, always need your Mom no matter how old you are.Thank you for teaching me grace and manners. In this world today, they sometimes seem antiquated or … [Read more...]

What’s with the Peeing?

Seriously folks. Lately, I could easily say that today is brought to you by the letter, 'P'. It is not just me. I know that I'm waking up a bazillion times a night now to use the head but there is also the dog incident.Now this-4:36 a.m.- Crying. There is loud wailing come from just behind T.D.'s door. Holy hell! I just got back to sleep and into dream world after my last pee break. Why me?! Why isn't H even moving?! I think he is fake sleeping. Curse him! I throw off the blankets and head across the hall to investigate.4:39 a.m.- There T.D. stands head hanging low looking upset and a tad ashamed if that is possible at this ungodly hour. I crouch to her level and ask what is wrong. She is soaked. From tummy to ankle in pee. It's cold too. My super sleuthing skills deduce that she must have … [Read more...]

Mayday! Mayday! Mom Down!

Sometimes I wish, secretly hope for and yes, beg for a Command Center of sorts that would monitor my home (only for purposes of good and well-being) from a remote location. They would be able to hear and see what is going on and see what a nightmare lunch time can be. Yeah, it's not always that cute when your child smears sour cream on EVERYTHING. Life with kids is not always one cute photo op after another. Just when it looks like Mom is about to lose it a little alarm would go off in my house sending out a signal of distress to the Command Center. The Command Center would be on high alert on the days I'm alone for long hours with a million things to do. Like when my husband has decided to change plans or just not call to say he isn't bringing people by our house for a visit, people that … [Read more...]