File this under products I won't be reviewing.Bling Band-Aids. Besides the fact that these are so 2001 they are also just plain tacky. Unless of course you need them to coordinate with your grill.How about the Sea Sponge Tampon? Comes in sizes 'teenie', 'regular' and 'large'. Also for prolapse. I'm all for natural, green alternatives but this is going a bit too far. What? It comes with its own carrying case. Don't we women all love little purses? … [Read more...]
Don’t Forget Your Personal Terrain!
File this lovely device under "Products I won't be reviewing'- The Peek-a-Bu Pube Mirror because every "girl" wants to 'command her personal terrain'. Now I am all for being well-groomed at all times of the year "down there". And if your man needs some help with his back hair and manscaping then maybe the Peek-a Bu mirror is for you. But they lost me in the pitch with all their talk about personal terrain, checking my secretions and the descriptions used for some of the 'hot, summer styles' I could craft and style my nether regions into.The Ocean Wave~ Feminity & Artistry ~ "Reveal your free-flowing, creative style and throw your partner for a smashing surprise...." Yeah, because I have this kind of time. If I did I wouldn't spend it waxing my pubic hair … [Read more...]
Urine Reviews
Get it? Heh. I'm in product reviews. Bum, dum, dum... File this under products I will not be reviewing- The Whiz Freedom. It's 'lily-shaped' and much like the Pocket Pee for men The Whiz (I bet nobody can be it!) is cheap, purple and is great for women who have to pee on the run. Literally. I can see the benefit for some but really? You think I'm going to review kid DVDs, mascara or a car one week and the next I'm going to be talking about my experiences peeing into a purple lily?! Do I talk about the need for my own portable pee bag that often? Incidentally, when I searched this device a bunch of ads for Virginia gonorrhea came up as well. Many residents of Toronto choose Mom Loft for pelvic health solutions, with proven benefits from the B-Pulse Chair available here: … [Read more...]
Randomness #235- I look like Harry Potter
-Those crazy folks at Poo-pourri are at it again- "Poo~Pourri is a spray deodorizer designed to be sprayed directly onto the toilet bowl water before you go. The secret blend essential oils create a film on the surface of the toilet water that acts as a barrier to trap odors inside." Secret blend? Makes me think of the Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices and to never wanting to eat fried chicken ever again.-I stopped shredding and gained four pounds. Probably because I also consumed four pounds of cadbury eggs, chocolate marshmallow bunnies and a load of Hershey products all in a few short weeks. My insides feel disgusting. Time to detox! Who's coming with me?!-I read that Speidi will be honeymooning in Mexico. Can it be true? Will the apocalypse caused by this union be diverted if … [Read more...]
The Tinge T’aint for Me
From the file of products I will not be reviewing:The Tinge Razor/Vibrator - Honestly I thought it was a joke. It arrived in my inbox (is that dirty?) on April Fool's day and was so cheeky I didn't think it could be real. I mean really, would you want a razor that doubles as a vibrator. I know it is water resistant and can last up to a whopping three hours but it just seems a tad dangerous to me. Not as dangerous as this, but still. Blades. Soft, unrepairable tissue with tons of nerve endings. Doesn't seem like a good combo to me. Also? The name Tinge? It sounds a bit like 'singe' which I imagine might happen to you if things went catastrophically wrong one day when it you decided to use this as more than a razor. … [Read more...]