Overheards- The Presidential Edition

Scene:  We are in the car running errands.  TD is quietly singing and talking to herself.TD:  Ronald Reeeeaaaagan, Ronald Reeeeaaagan and Baraaack Ooobaaama are the two bestest Presidents and friends!  They love each oooother sooo much. They are Presidents right now!  Ronald Reeeaaagan....Her facts might not be right but does love them both.  She has no idea I found a copy of Newsweek with Obama on the cover hidden under her comforter.  She likes to keep it there while she sleeps.  A portrait of Reagan hangs on her closet door.  She's proof you can see both sides.  Heh. … [Read more...]

Overheards- Too Many Cell Phones

Scene:  TD is running around her room in a breathless panic.  She is holding a toy cell phone up to each ear.  TD:  OK! OK! I GOT IT!  HOLD ON! V:  TD, what are you doing?  What is going on?TD:  I need help! There are too many phones! Too many people calling me!V:  Well, just put one phone down and only use another one.  TD:  AAUUGH! I JUST can't do that!  There are too many people who NEED to talk to me.  She runs back into her room, running in circles, holding both phones to her ears.  I hear her say, "OK! ALRIGHT!  I will be there.  I can do that.  It's no problem.  I GOT THIS!"I quietly walk back downstairs before I lose it completely.  … [Read more...]

Overheards- Hmph!

Scene: H, the girls and I are celebrating The Comedian's birthday with a dinner out. TD is dismayed at our choice of venue. TD: Hmph! This isn't a good restaurant. It's not pretty and it smells!H: What does it smell like? TD: (She grumbles) Smelly. It smells like hot dogs....A little while later-TD: (Surveying the restaurant from our table.) Hmph! No one is looking at me! This is a birthday. People in the restaurant are supposed to be looking at The Comedian and they aren't! She continues to give the restaurant the stink-eye and refuses to eat her macaroni and cheese. Later she tells us that, "This place is NO Red Robin." … [Read more...]

Overheards- The Cardboard Box

V: TD, did you take a nap today?TD: Yes Momma, I took a good nap. I slept in a cardboard box.V: You slept in a carboard box?TD: Yeah, it was comfy. I like it better than my bed. I looked at H and said, "Well that's great. Her future is already mapped out isn't it?" … [Read more...]

Overheards- Eat Your Veggies

Scene: TD and I have spent the morning running errands. Stuck at a stoplight and noshing on some lunch time treats we are on our way home for the remainder of the day. TD: "Momma? Can we have veg-ah-tahbuhls when we get home and have dinner tonight?"V: "Yes, of course. We always do. Why?"TD: "Oh, good! Because if you don't eat your veg-ah-tahbuhls then you cough up blood and die!"V: Coughing on a piece of I turn around to look at her. "Whaaat? Why would you cough up blood?"TD: "Like Mem's cousin. He coughed up blood and died."V: "Of course!" I think to myself, mentally smacking my forehead with my hand. Mem. "Uh, TD, Mem's cousin didn't die because he didn't eat his vegetables. He died because of alcoholism and smoking." Lengthy discussion about what alcoholism and the … [Read more...]

Overheards- The Earth Doctor

Scene: TD and I are headed out the door. As we climb into the car TD spies a displaced plastic container lying in the grass nearby. It is filled with trash despite being casserole size. TD: "Momma? Why is that plastic container lying over there? What is it doing? Is it trash?" She says as she climbs into her car seat.V: "Yes, it is trash. I don't know why it's there, but it shouldn't be." I say, reaching for her safety belts and fastening them.TD: "Why? Because it will hurt the earth?" She looks perplexed. V: "Yes, trash does hurt the earth. Very good!" I am a bit stunned but beaming and proud.TD: "Momma, when I grow up I am going to be a trash doctor so that the earth won't be hurt." She sits back in her car seat, satisfied with this proclamation.Ugh. My heart seized then … [Read more...]

Overheards- Nipple Cups

Scene: TD is peering into my dresser drawer as I rifle through it looking for the right bra.TD: Momma, when I grow up bigger we can share nipple cups with each other!Definition: Nipple Cups- A bra. At least she no longer refers to them as "nitnils". … [Read more...]

Overheards- The Sitter

Scene: TD is playing quietly on the kitchen floor. H and I are rounding up the kids and gear to head to the local farmer's market.H: Come on TD, it's time to put your shoes on and go to the farmer's market.TD: (Audible sigh) I don't want to go... can't you just hire a sitter for me? Ah, she is so smart. She's already figured out a way to get out of tedious errands. She was clearly forgetting the tasty treats (Pumpkin bread! Fresh fruit! Kettle Corn! Gelato! Italian Cream Cake!) that always accompany the farmer's market. It's what gets me out the door each time. That and cheap produce. Need a babysitter? The best local sitters are at Sittercity.com. Save 15% on registration with promo code SAVE15 … [Read more...]

Cheeseburgers & Vodka

Scene: I've just come home from an entire day of doing nothing but hanging out with an old friend. As I'm about to exit my car I spy H walking up the sidewalk to get the mail.V: Now, there's a fine piece of man!H turns and smiles and keeps walking. I enter our house which is quiet and empty feeling from a day of no one but the dog being home. H: I'm a fine piece of man who brings home vodka and cheeseburgers!Talk about perfection. … [Read more...]

Can You Feel That? It’s the Awesomeness.

Scene: H and I are enjoying a moment of quiet. Also known as bedtime for the kiddies. We're discussing upcoming events in our lives, including Blogher. H: You know, you should really post more about how awesome I am. I raise an eyebrow. H: I should also leave more comments because my awesomeness would totally radiate out from the computer. On another note I had what can only be described as a pre-blogher anxiety dream. I was traveling to Chicago from Virginia by train. How much would that sucketh? I missed my connecting train and the station, which at some point was floating on a sea of icebergs, lost my luggage. To top it all off some blogger I hate (who does not actually exists) was on my train with an ex-boyfriend of mine. I decided to be sweet and nice and chatted with … [Read more...]