Ten Months

It's always fleeting, this first year of life. The magical softness, the effortless cuddles and quiet times spent alone together with just the coos and the sound of your breathing mingled with theirs. So at 3:41 a.m. when The Fifth Element woke up again despite just having eaten I didn't mind picking her up out of her crib and holding her close. We settled into the rocking chair in her nursery together. As she rested her head on my shoulder and made self-soothing sounds I held her still small, soft-haired head in my hands and thought, "Soon this will be gone. I will never have this moment back. She will not cuddle so easily in the next few months." How can it be that almost an entire year has already gone by?As her breathing slowed and she shifted into a deeper sleep, I closed my eyes and … [Read more...]

The Fifth Element- Month 7

Oh, how are we already here.  Sitting up, eating food, drooling like a pro and sporting a new tooth.  It's too much, too fast.  My baby (wail...) The Label as my neighbor likes to call her at seven months. … [Read more...]

Seven Months

At this moment you are sound asleep in your sweet peace your heels forming a v-shape. Those little toes look so tiny and entirely edible. Your sister wants nothing more than to kiss you right now but I don't believe in breaking the cardinal rule of baby care, "Never wake a sleeping baby." You are seven months old today and quite the contrary to how you look right now you are full of smiles, laughs and strong bursts of energy. Be warned however, you have strong competition in the cuteness department from your big sister. Yesterday she told me I was "her superhero" and that I "saved her" from the ginormous prehistoric cricket that was hell bent on dragging her into the depths of our basement. She was quite adamant on that last part. … [Read more...]

Halloween Happenings

Feet are up. Glass of water sits beside me. Oh, that old game again? Yes. Yes, it is. I had my special sonogram today and we found that indeed this time my amniotic fluid is low and the placenta? The 'done' buzzer has pretty much gone off on it. Dash Two has not made great strides in the growth department this month and while she is active as all get out and her heartbeat is coming through loud, clear and strong, I'm sort of a worried wreck.No decision has been made other than, "Come back twice a week for non-stress tests and we'll see how it goes. We are not in scary territory yet but we could be headed in that direction." Kick ass, doc. Thanks. Tears oozed out the sides of my eyes despite her telling me things were OK. I swear Internets, I have no idea what to do. I just want this … [Read more...]

Oh Just a Tad Nervous

I'm a wee bit nervous today. OK, maybe more like A LOT nervous. Today is the day we get to hear this bean's heartbeat for the first time and this day always fills me with some fear. I get all excited when we first make the appointment but as the day draws closer I find myself almost not wanting to go in fear that all we will hear is silence. That the anxious feeling I possess will overtake the room and be palpable as it spreads to everyone else in the room. I tell myself that all the miserable sick of the past few weeks is a sign that things are going just swimmingly and I have no reason to worry but the fear persists.So today we know. I'm glad I'm not going alone. H will be there to hold my hand and that makes it better even when I just think about it.Want something a bit more … [Read more...]

We are in Mourning

I knew it would happen someday but I just kept thinking, "not in my house, not with my kid." Then it did. It didn't even start off slowly it was just a one day turn around and now there seems to be no going back.Nap time. It used to be a blissful, though short feeling for me, two sometimes three hours. Then H and I had the bright idea to set up her toddler bed. Which by the way it is so not cool to go all judgy on Moms who do things at a different time than you. They do know their own kid after all and if that kid (T.D.) seems ready for a bed DO NOT preach about how "that is why she isn't napping...". It started at Nana's and continued here, it's not the toddler bed. Eesh! Anyway, we got her all excited about a 'big girl' bed and took down the front rail of the her crib. Now it's a nice … [Read more...]

The Dash Two Factor

What is it about a kid free weekend that makes you wonder and discuss the idea of having another child? That topic came up more than once for H and I this sans T.D. weekend. For me, it surrounded me and clouded my thoughts, making me jump from one opinion to the next never able to land on a definite decision. When it comes to the idea of having another child many thoughts crowd my brain. They plague me and doubt looms large. Can we afford another child? How are we going to have room for another one? Can I stand the body upheaval again and the sickness I might have all the while caring for T.D. and not lose my ever-lovin' mind? I'm not so sure. I am an only child. I see nothing wrong with only children despite H's jokes of, "only children are weird..." I would love to give T.D. a sibling … [Read more...]

Scary Even to Me

Sometimes life just gets to be too much. No amount of wine or cigarettes (I wish!) will do. A nap, a good book, or a time out just isn't sufficient. Pedicure? Yeah right.What you need is a good crying jag. Or a meltdown of such epic proportions that has built up for so long that you scare even yourself back into normalcy. Your kid? Well, I feel I have scarred mine for life now and spent a good half hour apologizing to a child who just looked up at me with huge eyes. How did this happen?1. Lack of sleep. Sleep has been positively elusive to me the last few days and now weeks. Each day it gets worse. (Do NOT suggest Tylenol PM or some natural remedy for sleep the do NOT work on this woman) That does not make for a totally sane Mommy. 2. Ongoing and unfinished house projects. Debris in … [Read more...]

The Good Ol’ Days

Back in the days when I was "with child", "preggo", had a "bun in the oven" or was just plain pregnant I had a lot of people say some pretty bizarre or just plain rude things to me. They feel it's perfectly ok to not even say 'hello!' or even smile at you, but just okey dokey to touch your belly or poke your button. It gets pretty damn annoying. Here are a few of my faves- AND- things I wish I would have said and sometimes did.-"Are you allowed to eat that?" as I chomped on a Brownie. "Uh.. yeah..Why not? Are they special Brownies? If they are special Brownies I'm eating the whole pan."-"Will you be breast-feeding?" Blurted out in the middle of a meeting. Asked by a man who I barely knew. Talk about creepy. I had no reply for that one and still don't. Just YICK!!! -Me in my office: … [Read more...]

Back to Reality

How is it that in span of less than 60 seconds the phone can ring, I burn myself with hot wax (and sadly nothing even remotely kinky was going on), T.D. falls off the bed and manages to eat a nice mouthful of diaper cream? How? I guess it was just the universe's way of welcoming me back to reality. Whoo hoo!It slushed here today which just makes me want to stay under the covers of my own bed even more. It was so nice to get into MY bed after a week away. I'm a weirdo about my bed and sheets so it's always the one thing I miss the most when traveling. I have to say it was nice to be away and feel like me again. Not someone's Mom or wife. Just me. I shopped without time limits, ate whatever, got hit on a few times, and ingested far too much salt and sugar than should be allowed. I'm … [Read more...]