Oh, look- I'm home again. Jiggity Jig. After an uneventful car ride, seriously- I take back all I said about DVD players in cars for kids- that thing is a life-saver in the "WHAT?! We are not going back to Mem & Pep's house?!" meltdown moment that little portable player was a miracle worker- we arrived home safe and sound mid-day yesterday.Some things I noticed-I am back to eating fruit as a snack in under six hours. For some reason my parents house is a vortex for carb consuming. All I do is eat thigh thickening chips, ass-spreading brownies and more while I am there. I ingest fried foods as if I'm on shore leave and it cannot be stopped. Sure, I fall into many mid-morning and mid-afternoon, aw hell, mid-evening stupors more often than I care to admit, but I am powerless to stop … [Read more...]
Scenes from a Getaway
Hey look! It's a pregnant lady eating ice cream. Go figure. Gratuitous beach/cute kid shot. Now that is a clamcake! Or fritter if you are like not from South County Rhode Island and want to be a weirdo or something. This is in no way a crab cake. It's all fried dough goodness. At last count I consumed about ten of them. Check out the classic scenic wood paneling on the walls. This place hasn't changed since the 1950s. My parents went on dates here and now T.D. climbs into her favorite chair like she's a regular. It does not get any better than that. … [Read more...]
Overheards
Scene: Guestroom at my parents house. H & I have become incredibly lazy taking long afternoon naps in the summer heat. We have holed ourselves up in this room like teenagers with paperbacks, wi-fi, drinks and snacks. The dog doesn't even enter this domain. H: I'm thirsty. Go downstairs and get me water.Me: Um... I'm thirsty too. I'm pregnant and dehydrated....H: Ha! Get to it little woman! Me: I'm on vacation!H: Moms, don't get a vacation and your womanly duties are seriously lacking lately. You should be vacuuming and ironing my shirts or something...Five minutes later, I have my water. I'm not even going to discuss the amount of clamcakes I've consumed in the last few days and how yes, Mr.X they do exist. They are not and never will be RI crab cakes. Just ewww. … [Read more...]
Breaking Curfew and Seeing R-rated Films
There are claymation penguins eating cake with seals in party hats. The main topic of conversation/argument in the house is the ever changing temperature reading off the side of my parents house. My Father: Ooh! It's 38! Look at the sky!My Mother: 38?! (utter disbelief that it could be 38 degrees rings in her voice) Why that is ten degrees colder than yesterday!My parents are fascinated by weather. My father's dream is to have some sort of Wizard of Oz like capability or machine on the premises that would tell him the weather every five minutes or so down to the last centigrade, jet stream and barometric pressure. If my father had to live in a climate like sunny So Cal where seasons are hard to differentiate he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He is the Oz of weather. He and my … [Read more...]
Sweet Tart Overdose and a Crayfish Too
The truck was packed. Blearily my eyes tried to focus as my father woke us up and told us to get in the truck, it was almost time to "hit the road." We were Sebago bound. Sebago Lake, Maine. Every year my family would pack up the car and go to Sebago. We would head out on the five hour journey around 3 a.m. "We've got to get there early so we can pick the best campsite!", my Dad would declare. Each year I was allowed to invite one friend to spend ten days camping with us. This particular year I chose my friend Julie. I couldn't wait! It was freedom! Showers that operated by coin! Canadians in speedos! S'mores by the campfire and endless hours of roaming by the lake. Pre-teen heaven, well, minus the Canadian flag speedos.Propped up on pillows, ensconced in our sleeping bags and surrounded … [Read more...]