You know that old FDR quote, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself?" Yeah, I think ol'Franklin took that from his wife, Eleanor. I'm reading My Year with Eleanor: A Memoir currently. While it is Noelle Hancock's memoir and journey with fear Eleanor's plight with fear is much highlighted too. I sat up at 3 a.m., unable to sleep, reading this book last night and thinking about how fear really is such a demotivator. Fear stops me from doing even the most minute things. Like take all three kids to the library for story time. Yes, really. When Hancock pushes herself to do things, small and large, to beat her battle with fear, it resonates with something I have been attempting all summer long. My fear of working less. To me, my job is who I am, it is how I define myself. If I am not hacking … [Read more...]
Is Your Life Eating You Alive?
I was talking to another woman the other day about women's busy lives. She mentioned that today's woman has so many choices but also has a life. It is no longer just a home life or just a work life. It is both with fitness pursuits, dream goals, full-time friendships and more. Yet, there is still only 24 hours in a day. These lives are full. Very, very full. It made me think-Are our lives eating us alive?The media blitz and pitches for Disconnecting to Reconnect on Father's Day was just another thread that seems to be pointing to yes. I love that I have a busy life. I thoroughly enjoy working out, running and all my friendships. I can't maintain them like I used to and I don't view myself as a stay-at-home mom anymore. The fence I was bordering of work-at-home and stay-at-home now seems to … [Read more...]
Determined to Rest
I subscribe to the Tennyson rule of thinking, "To seek, to find and not to yield." Or something like that. Meaning, I'm a Type A freak who likes to stay busy and makes lots of lists. I drink coffee, would smoke a dozen killsticks if it wouldn't kill me first and I compete with myself a lot.Do I sleep with my shoulders hunched up to my ears? Oh, indeed.Last week I found myself swiftly walking through Reagan National airport at the eleventh hour once again, dragging my life behind me on a set of wheels. I had a thought, "What? Doesn't everyone do this with their life?" Living off trail mix and bottled water, memorizing the low-fat meals at Applebee's and Chili's across the country? No, they don't.While I don't mind racking up frequent flier miles, upgrades and free hotel stays, I do mind how … [Read more...]
Turning 35
I'm turning the big 3-5 today. My Dad says he is officially old now that he has a kid my age. If 35 is old then what the heck is 90? I've been mulling over this new box that I get to check- no longer 25-34 but now 35-54. What the hell is up with that jump? That is what makes me feel old. The thought that someone could think I'm 54? Really? Well, at least by then some of the kids would be out of the house, so there is that. After spending some time thinking about this new bracket, the mid-thirties, I can't help but think back to a post I wrote at DC Metro Moms a few years ago. In it I wrote about how I would rather be in my thirties than my twenties. I can still say that I still feel that way today. While I wouldn't mind being able to spend a whole day doing nothing but watching back to … [Read more...]
On Life, Death and Our Children
I have never felt so inadequate or so much like an adult as when I attended my friend's mothers funeral a few weeks ago. I was alone in attending and unlike other funerals I didn't have my grandmother, or my father or my husband to lean on. As I sat there listening to my friend and her sister eulogize their mother with such tremendous poise and grace I felt that we were passing into a new phase of our lives that needed plenty past life healing. Our parents are dying now. We have officially grown up. Then I thought back to my childhood and remembered a few of my school friends whose parents passed away due to long illnesses while we were still in grade school. In first grade I celebrated my birthday with cupcakes at 8 a.m. so that the whole class could attend a fellow classmates fathers … [Read more...]
So Much
If I think that we don't have enough all I have to do is look to the laundry monster to confirm that we have plenty. Even though our refrigerator might look ghetto right now with it's duct tape on the shelves (those damn freakin' shelves!!) I know it's only temporary and what matters is that there is food in that fridge. When H takes both girls to the grocery store on a Sunday morning I know that I married a wonderful man. Even though I may see days as pretty dark right now at least I can still see that there is so much for me to be grateful for each day and that is all I can really ask. Enter to win my beauty box giveaway here! It's full of SPF's, make-up and more! … [Read more...]
It’s More Than Just a Song
The idea of having a theme song has been the subject of a few blog posts out there in the blogosphere and even a frequent topic on such ancient shows of yore like Ally McBeal. I realized today as I was taking what should be my daily walk that my theme song has been the same for years. Hasn't changed since I first laid ears on it back in high school and despite being overplayed many times over the last few decades it still manages to do all those little things that theme songs are supposed to do.It energizes you. You hear that special little ditty and you instantly feel like dancing. Or shouting and doing all sorts of ridiculous things like you see in Mentos commercials and what not. My theme song makes me take over dance floors at weddings, grocery stores, sidewalks and wherever else I … [Read more...]
The Lay-Off- A Month Done and Gone
So there it is. A full month has gone by since the day that H came home declaring himself no longer gainfully employed. So much has happened in the last few weeks and life has taken to flowing a whole new way.For one thing, we all sleep later. It is as if we are all on summer vacation. Fancy that. Except we are missing that carefree feeling of running to the ice cream truck and lazing by the pool. While H has devised a schedule of job hunting as a full time job and completing long overdue tasks around the house, my work has suffered. While I try to keep TD occupied and out of Daddy's hair it is almost impossible to do unless some electronic box is used to placate her. This annoys H to no end. When it's just TD and me we work together. She plays at my side while I try and diligently work … [Read more...]
Dude, It’s Just Heavy
Focus.Regroup.Communicate.All things that swirl around in my brain and that H and I need to do since his lay off last week. While it has only been a week in some ways it feels like a lifetime. The man is working his butt off on the job search and has come to the conclusion that he isn't sure if he wants to stay in his current field which leaves us to -Focus, communicate and regroup.We are going away this week for our planned vacation in sunny, beachy New England. While H feels incredibly guilty and embarrassed at the fact that he is taking a vacation while jobless this trip could not come at a better time. We'll be staying with my family so it's free and the grandparent childcare will give us the time we need to -Regroup, communicate and focus on what our next steps will be with our entire … [Read more...]
Ah, Reality!
While Atlanta and all it's pampering was fantastic and Graco could not have treated us better, it is good to be back home. OK, so maybe the immediate dose of reality as soon as I landed in D.C. was not actually what I was looking for but still... Did I really need to be reminded of H's job search and unemployment frustrations as soon as I got to baggage claim? I'm already well aware of them. It is all I think about. Note to self: Do not call home immediately. Take the route that H does when traveling and just show up at the front door. Much more relaxing. And for a little escape in the meantime, check out the new server mpo for mpo888 on www.pennandquill.com, a fun way to de-stress and unwind. Also, when I plunked my bags down at the front door and Lex, the dog, shot out outside like … [Read more...]