I think months of no solid sleep have finally worn me down. I can't even so much as look at my bed without wanting to just go face first into it. If given the opportunity to nap I become incredibly delusional. Meaning, then I think I can stay there all day and if I can't then don't offer me the possibility.I've started to go to bed before the sun even sets and yet I am still tired when I wake up. Probably because that wake up is at 2 and 3 and 4 and 5. My friend Kristen likes to say, "who knew the third one would push me right over the edge." I am right there with her. For all The Fifth Element's sweetness and charm it is a lethal, massively tiring job taking care of three little ones under five. Those people who say that adding a third one is nothing are straight up possum-on-meth fuck … [Read more...]
The Wonders of Sleep
I'm nice right now. And um, still a teensy bit brain dead. I have good days and bad days and in the past two weeks more bad than good. When I realized this my little PPD nerve center went on alert and I found myself standing in the middle of a room wondering if this was the other shoe dropping. Was postpartum depression going to hit me again a third time? The very thought of it made me weepy. Then angry. Then yup, you guessed it. Weepy again. I wanted to crawl under the covers and hibernate. I felt twitchy and snappy evil. My eyes may or may not have glowed red once or twice. I wanted to talk to someone, anyone about this, but then no one at all. Call it a case of being sick of dealing with this type of shit. The third time would not be the charm. Then an interesting thing … [Read more...]
A Case of the Monday’s
I think my head exploded in my sleep last night. I keep hearing "sounds like someone has a case of the Monday's..." in my head and my cranky pants are already chafing me. It is barely 9 a.m.Hooray for days without sleep! Watch out world! Mummy is feeling crazy and has already gone off the rails! I'm a single parent for a few days and all TD can say is, "I want my Daddy." Probably because tired, ass-dragging, non-working out Mommy has become 'Mean Mommy' full of deadlines, tasks and little patience. I have the hardest time going to sleep and staying asleep these days and yet I'm exhausted beyond belief. I wouldn't even let myself watch 'True Blood' last night in fear that it would further inhibit my sleep mojo. As it was I fell asleep reading 'My Booky Wook' on my chest. I'm sure … [Read more...]
Tuesday Night Sleep Smackdown
I'm awake! I slept! OK. Not all night but like a lot of the night and man it's as if I've taken speed and mainlained an entire carafe of espresso mixed with Jolt cola. I can totally thank this awesome lady for it too. She's a life saver! The only snafu came around 3:30 a.m. when H decided he was going to stake claim on the whole bed, wife be damned.3:31 a.m.-Me: Whhaatt... uuhh... OW! (H's knee has just well, knee'd me.) I try to roll over and realize that he has pushed me all the way to the edge of the bed and I just catch myself as I start to fall overboard. I practically impale my left breast on the nightstand. Ouch.H: Snuffling sounds.Me: Damn it! I cannot reclaim my spot. WTF! H has just shoved a pillow in my face and I am slowly being suffocated. I wrench it away and … [Read more...]
I’m the Dumb Ass
Holy canned creamed corn dogs do I hate February. Well, doesn't that just sound like a hot mess of something you don't want anything to do with? Really, I try to be optimistic about it even going so far as to read this post about finding the positives in February. It's TD's, my grandmother's and my father's birthday. It's Valentines day too. A day I used to champion with the line, "V-Day. It's better than D-Day." However, it is always this month that I begin to feel itchy in my skin. While the days are shorter they feel endlessly long and tiring. My brain ceases to function and I'm always sick. My work suffers as does my soul (isn't that dramatic?). I lose any of the motivation I had in January and all I want to do is curl up on the couch and read a good book. In a sense I just … [Read more...]
I’m a Way Bigger Dork than I Thought
From the land of the intensely liberal and oh my god! is that Steve Jobs? I might just squee if it is. I'm in NoCA for a bit and lovin' the balmy sixty degree temps, the food, the drink, the swag, the drinks. Will there be more drinks later? What? It's Cali- no one smokes here. If you even think about it they look at you like you are beating a sack of puppies with a sack of kittens at a children's birthday party. I've already seen more yogis than I can shake a protein-infused aromatherapy stick at. Seriously- a girl could geek out here big time. If um.. she was prone to such things, which I'm like clearly not. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? I check into my hotel (hello Stanford!) and rip open my bag 'o' goodies looking for the tech loot-mmm... tasty new flip camcorder all for me... oh … [Read more...]
The Modern Day Lullaby
It's probably not good that I found myself singing Dash Two this song today as a lullaby. I'm that tired. To be fair, is there anything really wrong with cornbread? I didn't think so. How many of you have caught yourself singing some inappropriate song to a little one anyways? I can't be the only one guilty of this.Maybe next week when I've gotten some gym time courtesy of those free week long passes gyms string you along with. You know the ones- where they hope upon hope that you'll cough up an introductory fee, your left lung and perhaps some free local press after they suck an additional transaction fee out of your bank account just because. Maybe then I'll feel more energized and I'll be awake enough for date night (ooh date night- a.k.a. asleep by 9 p.m.) where a white Russian … [Read more...]
Sleep is My Precious
I was all set to post about well erm.. nothing... I am a zombie. A tired zombie of a woman with bags under her eyes the size of Arkansas. And I was getting a nap. Then TD decided to not nap today and woke me up with her chirpy in your face voice just as I was drifting off. The one day I got both kids to nap at the same time since Dash Two was born. My whole body hurts I'm so freakin' tired and now I could or actually am just tearing up thinking about my lost sleep. It's either cry or just hurl things in rage.I hate everyone who is getting sleep right now. I curse them. Oh yeah... I was going to post about holiday goodness and blah, blah, blah. Seriously? Who cares. My black heart doesn't despite ordering cheerful cards today. I'm too pissy from exhaustion to think about the holidays … [Read more...]
The tree is up. Half the lights don't work this year so decorations are being put off for a bit. If I have to say, "No! Don't touch that!" one more time I might go insane. I think the Grinch has visited me this year in the form of sleep deprivation. I almost committed 'cellular homicide' this morning. Meaning, H kept hitting the snooze button on his cell phone's alarm and I was mere seconds from grabbing it and smashing it into electronic bits. After being up every two hours all night and having only one more hour of sleep before TD woke up with her million question quota to fulfill I was not about to lose one precious second of sleep. All I want to consume is an obscene amount of chocolate and coffee. And maybe some marshmallows covered in salty caramel (William Sonoma is the devil … [Read more...]
Mmph…
Amount of times woken up last night by TD: Six.Legitimate night time issues with TD: Two. All others just up and whining for no apparent reason. Le SIGH....Glasses broken that were full of water: One, all over a library book or two and the nightstand.Nightstand books thrown around the room helter skelter style after water spillage: At least four.Number of blog posts composed in my head (this not being one of them) because I could not sleep: Five at the very least.What I look like today and why I'm now not sitting in a Starbucks drinking a decaf latte or running mad errands around town in the preschool clock/adrenaline rush/countdown.I clearly need some time alone today. Maybe a facial mask and some conditioner is needed as well. Eeesh. … [Read more...]