What Rocks!

You know what rocks?-Actually managing to surprise your best friend with a visit. E thought her boyfriend's mother was coming into town. Lo and behold, c'est moi! She jumped me like a spider monkey as soon as the shock wore off. That alone was worth the trip. - A $20 foot massage that really is a full body one. Why don't we have those in my area?! - Finding designer duds for less at consignment stores on Melrose and watching LA rich girls drop off never worn clothing while wearing tanks emblazoned with the words, "Trifling Ass Bitch". - Absinthe. I can see the point of that stuff. Really. I like a spongy world.-Having loads of time to hang out with my best friend that I haven't seen in a year and a half whether it was on the couch in our pj's, in a club, taking a walk or sinking our … [Read more...]

Where’s Mummy- #35

Guess where I am today and all through Saturday? I'll give you a few hints.- You may not hunt moths under a streetlight.- Toads may not be licked.- Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.Finally, there are over 75 Starbucks in this city.Figure out where I am by Monday, September 28, 2009 and I'll give you a free month of advertising on Mummy's Product Reviews. I'll put up your button, favicon, link - whatever and list your blog, website or company as a Fun Find in the month of October (That's an over $40 value.). … [Read more...]

Coffee with a Vodka Chaser, Please

I am surly today. Call me CPM - Cranky Pants Mason.I decided that it would be a fabulous idea to suck just one more sunny ounce out of summer and hit the road with the girls again this week. Beach bound we got on the highway and down came the rain. Winds blew and tiny mouths became gaping black holes of want and whine accompanied by fists of fury and destruction. "I want, I want, I want..." It was all I heard until one of the dictators passed out along side the other despot in the back seat. Silence and sunshine ensued for much of the trip.Until I got lost. Why is it that just when you miss a turn the peanut gallery in the backseat decides to create a list of demands so long and loud that you miss all the other eight turns the GPS is barking out at you in its super polite British accent? … [Read more...]

Pack it Up! We’re Going to Chocolate World!

"Are we going to Pretzel land today?" TD asks continuously. To her Pennsylvania is the land of the giant pretzel thanks to her US Maps placemat. However, after this weekend I am quite sure PA will be known as Chocolate World from here on out. For other things to do near Penn State, click the link for more options. I'm doing laundry like a whirling dervish today. I just finished unpacking myself from my trip and off we go again. I'm looking forward to this opportunity for some downtime with the family. Lately our schedules have been so missed matched that we are almost never home at the same time. The kids are coming and going and so are we. I'm not concerned about the car ride to Hershey. We've got car trips down. Rather I'm deeply, deeply concerned about us all sharing a hotel room. … [Read more...]

Where’s Mummy- #34

Funny, I have yet to see a scene like this since I've arrived in the desert. I've seen my fair share of tumbleweeds, abandoned buildings and prehistoric dragonfly type insects that scare the beejeezus out of me. Oh and some vicious little black beetles that like to crawl under my hotel door at night and scoot around the floor. Frightening!It is more like this- My fine dining choices consist of Applebee's and Chili's and I'm done. You would think I could find an interesting little Mexican eatery but alas there is nada. Ooh, I'm already speaking the language. Heh. Did I mention that the hotel hair dryer doesn't work? I'm sportin' the most interesting do. It's part beach wavy, part matted mangy dog hair hot mess. I had to conduct a training session like that yesterday. Today I'm out greeting … [Read more...]

Open Letter to Ontario Airport Security

Ontario, CA that is. Not the Canuck one. To Whom it May Concern at the Ontario TSA: On my April 20 jaunt through your sadly depleted of all food services airport (seriously?! it was 4 pm and all restaurants were closed at 2 pm! Hello! Starvation!!) I was welcomed by not one but five security staff as I ran my bags through your security system. Clearly, you all have a lot of time on your hands. I abide by your rules to a 't'. I removed my shoes and laptop. My bag, shoes and special baggie of 3 ounce toiletries were placed in the bin and my laptop in a separate one. See? Rule follower, that is me! I waited my turn in line to go through the metal detector like a good citizen too. Oh wait, there wasn't a line. It was just me. Still, I passed with flying colors. I sprinted bare foot to … [Read more...]

Lessons in Working Mother Travel

You know it is just so awesome when you hear the words, "We're going to need to do a bag check..." and you know that bag is yours. That bag that will soon be pawed through contains only two things- work clothes and your breast pump.Ooh, that scary black bag within a bag. Dun, da, da, dun dun.When the tech asked, "Ma'am is there anything in this bag that is sharp and could attack me?" Umm... you mean like a cougar? No. I really wanted to say, "No, sir! Just watch out for yer teets! There's some major suction in them there breastsheilds, they might just suck yer fingers clear to the bone."Note to self: Next time don't pack your panties in the breast pump storage space. Saving space isn't as important as keeping airport security from de-sterilizing all your gear and touching your … [Read more...]

What Part of Vacation Do I Not Understand?

Holy Melting Hell.I'm in New England for a bit of a breather. TD and I did the solo flight up here yesterday and can I just say that if a plane full of kids can be fab then we had it? Yes, Virginia it really is possible to soar through the air with the greatest of ease and actually have a kid who thinks even the bumpy parts of the plane ride are fun. "More bumps," TD exclaimed and "Faster! More Faster!" I think I fell in love with her a bit more, if that is possible, in those moments.Now for the holy melting hell part. I'm up here chillin', maxin', wishin' I was at a pool or ocean but no, indeed I am glued to my hot box of a laptop working. Le Sigh.I am swelling and pissy.Not a good combo in even the non-pregnant.Thank goodness for grandparents who actually go on solo excursions with the … [Read more...]

Back to School

I may be a lucky SOB of a blogger for not getting hate mail but I am a lazy one too. Quite spontaneously on Friday, we decided to blow our pop stand of a town and leave our community pool in the dust for the weekend. We headed south in search of cool riverside breezes and the ‘only for us’ pool that is my mother in law’s house. I feel like Wallace from ‘The Wire’ as I listen to a sound that has become foreign to me. It is the sound of crickets at night. Despite having such prehistorically large crickets in our basement that jump out at you like ghouls in the night, we do not ever hear them even in suburbia. I had forgotten lightening bugs existed as well. So here we are. No Wi-Fi for me and barely any cell reception, ridiculously behind on my work.T.D. as spoiled as ever by almost two … [Read more...]