Barely awake, puffy eyed and ringed in dark circles I got my coffee yesterday morning and made my way into the office. I had almost gotten through the weekend's emails when T.D. awoke. Not ready! Need more caffeine to handle the beast after a night of her laughing at us and no sleep. I am in an anti-toddler mood, but make my way upstairs to get her.After a chaotic breakfast where H declared, "you know she's not behaving this way on purpose, just to get to you right?" I muttered back, "yeah, actually I think she is." She's my daughter, she has to have a tiny bone of instigation in her. I got ready, I got T.D. ready amidst the all too common screaming. At 9:03 a.m. we were out the door! Victory was in my grasp! An early start to the day. Hooray for me!Settled into the car I somehow failed to … [Read more...]

Huh. So I guess maybe I overdid it yesterday. Instead of resting my tired over walked bones and self I did about five loads of laundry, was up unpacking my bag at 5 a.m., did dishes, checked email, did some writing and work and even threw in a play date for good measure. Cracked? Just a tad I suppose.Today, I feel as if someone is constantly drilling in my head. My hearing goes in and out and I feel as if someone pulled the plug in me somewhere and my insides and energy have all oozed out. Not pretty. I dressed T.D. in an orange shirt, aqua pants with turquoise and white polka dot socks, and hot pink shoes that squeak (I was feeling masochistic I guess) and realized that I was burning my poor retinas just by looking at her ensemble. The sheer idea that I needed to shower and head to the … [Read more...]

There was the day of Nixon's funeral and how I got to listen to it and various recaps of his administration for an entire morning. Every May his resignation speech was played. Every May I am giddy with joy at hearing it again.There were the hazy days of cocaine, booze, weight gain, peeing in the studio, and nights at Elaine's. They are as much of blur to me as to him as I was only six.Bumpy, country roads on my way to school where my greatest joy was listening to his voice talk politics and start a book club of sorts in the mid-90's even as he broadcast from the hospital with deflated lungs. As a non-Kennedy loving New Englander his bits on Ted Kennedy got me each time.Making my college roommie sick with embarrassment because her roommate listens to an old, white man each morning before … [Read more...]

I'm feeling a little restless today. I had another one of my fun dreams where it's all gnarled black licorice-like trees and heinous red lighting. I swear they can be like a bad 70's horror flick at times. The lack of spring weather, the chronic indigestion and the inexplicable way I just burst into tears all adds up to a very bizarre feeling day. I swear if I didn't know any better I would think I was pregnant again.It's odd, I have plenty of work to do, but I can't quiet my mind long enough to actually concentrate and put words to paper. I keep looking out the window as if something is going to happen. After a morning of baking cookies for my Avon bake sale this weekend I decided T.D. and I had to get out of the house. The gloominess outside wasn't daunting enough and I loaded her into … [Read more...]

Beinvenue! I'm in a swimmingly pleasant Benadryl fog today. I keep forgetting to not take it, and buy some claritin, but I become so frustrated with rubbing my eyes for ten minutes straight, while simultaneously using my tongue to scratch the back of my throat that I end up downing a capsule or two for some relief. Subsequently, I'm out of it and can't really put together a supa stah post.I do have this though- Looks like something I would see in the beginning of one of my fabulous nightmares. How freaky is this? You can find it for real at Vernal Hoodoo's Easter Pageant on Chrystie St. in NYC this weekend.or how about a little of this- I wish Christian Bale would star in a dream of mine even if he is a psycho. Easily a scene with a much uglier, heinous looking creature would be seen … [Read more...]

Is it just me or can you too throw around the F word at any given time and have frequently been known to say, "Motherfucker is my favorite word." It just has a nice ring to it. I can't help it. It's vulgar, crass, and sounds unintelligent. Sometimes though it's the only word that will do. Let's hear everyone yell, "Oh that poor child she's raising. What a foul mouthed pig she must be." I do have to say that I draw the line at one usage of it. Fuck You. I hate it. I can say motherfucking this, what the fuck, mother fucking that, but 'Fuck You', which seems to always scream in all caps even when said in a whisper, just gets me. When someone says it to me something in me shuts down. Hostility arises. Distance is brought up and I can no longer communicate with that individual. They … [Read more...]

This kind of stuff bugs me. It makes me feel like sometimes we just might know a little too much. I think why do I need to think of one more thing? As if pregnant women don't worry enough or have people telling them all sorts of "advice" on a daily basis. Like how brownies aren't good for pregnant women and other nonesense.I give you this and ask you- is this too much information? Do we really need to be concerned with this? I can see it now. In twenty-five years some guy will flip out on his Mom who has been pestering him for a grandchild and he'll retort with, "Well maybe if you hadn't stuffed your piehole with so much beef every day I could give you one!" Ugh. … [Read more...]

Forgot to set alarm, a rarity indeed- Check.Race to get myself and T.D. out the door in under 15 minutes- Check.Driving like a psycho on a spree to the mechanics-Check.Having no place to park and screaming at H on the cell phone because he sounds like he fell down into a cave the likes of some recently filmed horror flick- oh yes, check indeed.Yup. That was my morning yesterday. After I finally made it into the auto place to stand in line, have the clerk tell me that I was going to have to be wedged in between other appointments (huge sigh from him and me) I took T.D. out. I thought, won't this be fun! We'll take a stroll to the store and pick up some things, I'll buy a tasty latte and we'll head to the library while we wait. Ha! When the latte spilled all down the backside into the … [Read more...]

Yesterday I visited an old friend. Someone I hadn't seen in the last five years. We became friends over our mutual misery we had in our first jobs (we both worked for the same boss) out in the real world and our love of travel. We traveled together a lot in that job and usually with each other. I think I had forgotten that until last night when I reviewed some old photos of all the places we had been. We both ended up moving to places we traveled to for work. It worked for her and not for me.We met however in College Park. Aah, my old alma mater. How I love thee. My Maryland, my Maryland. Garyland, Go Terps, and all that other stuff. How odd it was to go back with T.D. in tow. There I was navigating the crowded streets in my giant SUV, or at least it felt that way with all the … [Read more...]