Who knew that birthday gift aftermath is just like Christmas gift aftermath. Our living room is a sea of ridiculously bright wrapping paper, twisty ties and various sizes of plastic and cardboard. Just seeing it this morning made me want to turn around and go back upstairs to hide under the covers. Both kids need a bath today and I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I feel old.Throw in the fact that H is going to a networking happy hour tonight and will be home late and I just want to start imbibing the happy juice myself all before 10 a.m. I think that the fact that I know I won't be getting my weekly dose of girls night this week is making me a bit loopy. I've been asked to "take some time off from that for a while". My weekly dose of girl time/adult interaction/conversations that … [Read more...]
Wouldn’t You Like to Get Away?
Yesterday was just like that bad. I had my woman doctor appointment and I got that whole "I'm mad that I'm female thing " going on, which rarely happens, except when I'm the one who has to deal with the whole birth control issue and my craptastic insurance won't cover what is probably the "best" option for me and I decide fuck it, I don't care. I'm getting the fucking IUD and I'll just make payments on my uterus or what have you. Thanks Mirena! Does my uterus owe you interest each month too? Anyways... then I head to my gym determined to be in a better mood because HUZZAH! it's time to sign up Dash Two for the gym daycare. Only there's this big ol' note on the front door and while it's after 9 a.m. the gym is really dark. Huh. Oh right- because they are closed. For. Ever. WTF?! And then I … [Read more...]
Competition for the Cruises?
The transformation was almost complete. Three inches had been lopped off my hair and the Gwyneth look was being ushered in. The bangs had indeed grown out. Just in time too because I'm headed to Atalanta this week for a work thang and wanted I my hair to look it's shiny best.Then the unthinkable happened.Fringe.Just a bit. Um.. OK, that's fine I suppose until my stylist took out a large chunk by accident or what, I'm still confused. I screamed, "WHOA! WHOA! WHOOOAAAH! What are you doing?!?! WHAT just happened?!" She looked at me in horror and realized that she had gone and taken out too large of a chunk. She claimed she could fix it and I braced myself, white knuckled in the chair. I knew what was coming. Gone would be the cut I had taken a year to achieve. Ushered in would be the cut that … [Read more...]
Do I need to give this a title?
Ladies, how many times have you gone out with your friends or even your spouse, just a night out on the town (oh that blissful freedom!) only to be groped by some guy at the bar or in passing? Does it happen often? Is it commonplace? How many times have you spoken up and either yelled at the guy or even (gasp!)hit him?How many times have you told your friends that this event just took place? Did they offer up that it happened to them too?Now answer this. How many times did you tell your spouse right then and there or wait until the next day? If you are me, you tell your spouse later. Sometimes, because he isn't out with you in the first place, and sometimes because it is just not worth what might happen after you tell him. How many of you have actually filed a report? I'm curious to know … [Read more...]
Overheards
Scene: Casa de Parents (yup, still here). H & I dorkin' it up on our separate laptops as we sit side by side on a couch. My mother walks in with clean sheets. My Mother: Where are the red sheets?Me: Huh? Oh. I brought them down to the laundry room.My mother: There were only two pillowcases. What happened to the sheets.Me: Silence. Huh. Oh. (the longer I'm here the more my verbal skills decrease by sheer lack of routine and the ability to watch massive amounts of HGTV) We only used two pillowcases, not the sheets.My mother: OK. (exits the room)Me: (very late on the uptake) I ate them.H: Well, you never know with you. You are married to a criminal after all.Me: (Hugh sigh of anxiety and stress exudes from me)H: Not funny yet?Me: No.Still want to puke. Want to curl up into a ball and wake … [Read more...]
I Want to Puke. Just Puke.
So it's 2008. How was your New Year's? Did you get all jiggy and have a blast with friends and loved ones? We did. It was a blast. And then it wasn't. Then it all just turned incredibly bad. Really bad. So we're still here and biding our time. I have to go and deal with some police issues today. Oh yeah it was that kind of night. Since I really can't talk about it I just ask that you keep us in your prayers. Most of the time? I love being a woman. Then it's nights like that night that make me feel not so much. If I was a man it wouldn't have happened. If I was a man I wouldn't be having to deal with this. … [Read more...]