Scene: On the phone with H one night. I sit cross-legged on the bed, watching the black beetles crawl into my hotel room from the great outdoors. How many will infiltrate my premises tonight?V: I had to deal with Border Patrol today. The line was short but it took forever. Then they get to me and I have my ID out. I'm ready to answer any and all questions about live plants or contraband oranges I might carrying across the Texas/New Mexico border. It's not like I'm hiding anything inside the rental car doors or what have you. All the guy asked was this, "Are you a US citizen?" I replied, "Yes." "OK, you can go." He said. I guess a blond girl in a black mustang, well, you just don't get anymore American than that now do you?In my frequent travels this week (six states in less than … [Read more...]
Where’s Mummy- #34
Funny, I have yet to see a scene like this since I've arrived in the desert. I've seen my fair share of tumbleweeds, abandoned buildings and prehistoric dragonfly type insects that scare the beejeezus out of me. Oh and some vicious little black beetles that like to crawl under my hotel door at night and scoot around the floor. Frightening!It is more like this- My fine dining choices consist of Applebee's and Chili's and I'm done. You would think I could find an interesting little Mexican eatery but alas there is nada. Ooh, I'm already speaking the language. Heh. Did I mention that the hotel hair dryer doesn't work? I'm sportin' the most interesting do. It's part beach wavy, part matted mangy dog hair hot mess. I had to conduct a training session like that yesterday. Today I'm out greeting … [Read more...]
Three Girls, Two Cities, One Day
Ellen Burstyn lived as a homeless person for a few days to step out of her comfort zone. I don't need to go quite that far just yet. For me, stepping out of my own comfort zone only requires me taking the girls into two cities, aboard two trains, on three cab rides and onto the steamy streets of New York. All in just twelve hours. Even though I stay home with my kids I don't really think of myself as a hands-on mother. I still work, travel and am independent from them. It is a system that works well for us most of the time. TD was a year old before I had ever taken her to the grocery store on my own. Taking a three year-old and a nine month old on a day excursion to one of the world's largest cities is not something I find within my means of momfidence. It is more of an adventure. … [Read more...]
Working with Kids. The Unsolvable Equation.
I woke up late today. So much for Body Pump. I fear I will never see streamlined thighs again. I find myself running around today trying to catch falling yogurt cups before they hit the floor with a splat. Racing down the stairs with the dog who can't keep up and ends up tumbling to the landing in a yelping heap. There I am again on a work phone call, scooping cheerios off a high chair tray as I try to sound coherent and intelligent while TD yells in the background. That's just a fellow co-worker about to go postal over a PowerPoint presentation, right? Five seconds later I'm emailing Gymboree about Bubble Camp and settling TD into a good hour of Sesame Street. Meanwhile The Comedian tries to rewire our entertainment system. I swear that child will know how to hot wire a car by age … [Read more...]
Work At Home Mom Takes a Meeting
You give yourself an hour to get somewhere that takes thirty minutes. You take three hours to get yourself and the two kids ready for an outing that will take about three hours as well. On the way to the meeting you get hit with some gnarly traffic, get lost on a few one way streets, scream so loud in a parking garage your three year-old quips, "Look, Mommy! Curious George! Just calm down..." Realize you need to valet the car and get two kids in car seats out with all their gear and some shorty (I kid, because I love) is standing in your spot texting away. An angel descends on your car and takes the oldest by the hand and leads you into the building.After a quick hello to Clifford, the big red dog, you drop the kiddies off and head to your meeting. You are dressed, your hair is coiffed … [Read more...]
I Hired a Village
The arrival of The Comedian and some new work opportunities has made it imperative that I hire someone to look after the wee babes at least once a week. In fact, in just a few short months I've gotten a nice tidy list of sitters at my beck and call, including one that comes on a regular basis each week. When I set off to work from home two years ago it was all about spending more time with TD and getting a little work done on the side. On the side being nap time, early in the morning and whenever I could grab a moment and compose my thoughts. Now it is nearly impossible to get anything done on a schedule if I don't have someone nearby to corral the tots into that pen, er den of ours, and make them play nice. After the sitter left Monday morning I realized that not only did I feel … [Read more...]
Open Letter to Ontario Airport Security
Ontario, CA that is. Not the Canuck one. To Whom it May Concern at the Ontario TSA: On my April 20 jaunt through your sadly depleted of all food services airport (seriously?! it was 4 pm and all restaurants were closed at 2 pm! Hello! Starvation!!) I was welcomed by not one but five security staff as I ran my bags through your security system. Clearly, you all have a lot of time on your hands. I abide by your rules to a 't'. I removed my shoes and laptop. My bag, shoes and special baggie of 3 ounce toiletries were placed in the bin and my laptop in a separate one. See? Rule follower, that is me! I waited my turn in line to go through the metal detector like a good citizen too. Oh wait, there wasn't a line. It was just me. Still, I passed with flying colors. I sprinted bare foot to … [Read more...]
Lessons in Working Mother Travel
You know it is just so awesome when you hear the words, "We're going to need to do a bag check..." and you know that bag is yours. That bag that will soon be pawed through contains only two things- work clothes and your breast pump.Ooh, that scary black bag within a bag. Dun, da, da, dun dun.When the tech asked, "Ma'am is there anything in this bag that is sharp and could attack me?" Umm... you mean like a cougar? No. I really wanted to say, "No, sir! Just watch out for yer teets! There's some major suction in them there breastsheilds, they might just suck yer fingers clear to the bone."Note to self: Next time don't pack your panties in the breast pump storage space. Saving space isn't as important as keeping airport security from de-sterilizing all your gear and touching your … [Read more...]
On Going Back to Work
Sometimes an opportunity presents itself in such a way that it cannot be resisted. That is exactly what happened to me a few weeks ago when we were in the thick of the evening ritual of sit-down-eat-your-dinner-now with holy-crap-the-baby-is-crying-and a side of we-still-need-bath-and-storytime-to-go-down-without-a-hitch followed by the cry of hurry!-where-is-mommy's-wine!! A friend called stating that she had a new position opening up in her company and it would be just perfect for me. I could travel! (think exciting locales like Boston, SoCal and maybe even Lubbock, Texas!) Sleep in a hotele w Polsce, eat room service and read a whole book like these History of Texas Books on a plane. Such bliss cannot be believed. Did I mention that it pays and pays enough to make child care … [Read more...]
Eight Weeks
I woke up this morning and realized that Dash Two is eight weeks old now. My, how time flies. I'm back at the gym, she has slept through the night for the first time and no matter what we do she is growing up at a remarkably fast pace. Those tiny baby days are gone already. She is reaching milestones at lightening speed and it was at this point with TD that I was already back at work.While I'm still not feeling out of the woods yet as far as PPD goes, I do know that my bad bout with it coincided with my going back to work. Oddly enough, it is this same week in Dash Two's life that I'm heading out of town for the first time. I know she will be in good hands and if anything happens we have a plan but it just amazes me how fast time goes and how small she seems. I had no choice with TD. I had … [Read more...]