It is always when I'm about to go to an event with a lot of our friends that I begin to feel the 'I' word. Insecure. I didn't always feel that way. Nope. It only started when I quit my 9-5 job and decided to make a go of this whole writing thing that I felt these pangs of insecurity.We go to an event and the topic of work comes up. No one asks me about my job anymore. I'm left out of the conversation unless I shoehorn my way in. When I would begin to talk about a particular project I could see the judgment. The "HA! Yeah right! You don't really work anymore, you just stay home." It has been said to me more than once. It has gotten to the point that now I don't even talk about work. Even if I'm really excited about something or something big is coming up I just find something else to talk … [Read more...]
Saturday Morning Wake Up Call
I had a dream last night. One of those dreams where I know I need to listen. Two old men sat at a picnic table by a lake. They were the gruff no nonsense types with the unmistakable air that only retired cops possess. There was nothing film noir about them or the situation. I got the feeling I needed to heed what they were saying though. Girlie needed to listen up as what they were telling me was incredibly important. One more thing. They were dead. They told me that I knew what I had to do. I had to get closure. I needed to do that in two ways. One I needed to find out what happened. I know cryptic right? But I knew exactly what they were talking about. The second thing being that I had to write about it. I had to take the two books I had already started that are in a similar vein and … [Read more...]
Reduce the Crazy- Project Life Change
So there I was reading all about Project Life Change from some great bloggers and I thought, well what a swell idea but I've already done that. Remember? I quit my job back in January to stay home with T.D. and pursue my writing. A life long dream. What could be better than that?Except for one thing. It's called balance. Coupled with my inability to say no to a writing gig or almost anything else and I am swamped! Swamped with writing for free half the time too. Sure I get loads of free products and that's great! My friends think I'm the luckiest person for all that stuff that arrives daily at my front door. Except that they don't have to review it. I get bogged down in the boxes and using things and keeping such a tight schedule. I have stopped enjoying it. I want to do different things … [Read more...]
Desk Jockey
Recently there have been talks brewing in these here parts of me going back to work. It's all a bit fuzzy and I think I was drinking something called a Tropical Typhoon when the subject came up. I can't be sure as it was a Typhoon.I know. Going back to work you say? What about all those awful hours you put in under sometimes heinous circumstances? What about the commute? What about the asshat?! Don't you remember the asshat?! I hear you people. I hear you loud and clear. I'm not so far removed from it all yet. Truthfully the desire to go back to being a desk jockey is not at all strong. In fact, I am content to never see another set of gray cubicle walls or smell the stench of burned Maxwell House ever again if possible. It was just last week I told a friend, the only way I'm ever going … [Read more...]
Overheards
Scene: My house. Me on the phone with my Mother. Mom: You know that email you sent with the link on that piece you wrote?Me: Yes....Mom: Well, it just brought me to the main site. There were tons of them. I didn't know which one was yours, none of them had a name to them.Me: Oh. I thought I sent a link to my latest article. Just that one. Not to the main site. Hm....I could have sworn...well it was the book review, 'Bright Lights, Big Ass'. Mom: That one? Oh! I read that one! Well, that one was quite well written! I didn't know you wrote that one!Me: Thanks! (Mentally banging head down on table or other hard surface.) … [Read more...]
A Few Things
I consider myself a new writer. Just trying to make it in the world today. Yes, sometimes it takes a lot.... Really, though I'm not. I've been doing the whole writing thing for quite some time. I just never had it technically published or was paid for it outright. I did a lot of technical manuals in my day. Data sheets, course catalogs and generally dry stuff. Before that, I wrote some pretty serious papers on the life of your average gilded age princess, the civil war and how it affected women, and the every day life of the 19th Century person. I wrote some pretty kick ass stuff as I was told in not those exact words. I have talent. A passion and gift for writing.Ok fine. So here I am actually trying to make a living from it and I'm pissed. I get really angry when I see ads on job boards … [Read more...]
Rock the VOTE!
In addition to the already fun and cool photo contest I have going there is a new one.This one involves voting. VOTING FOR ME! It's Blog for a Year, a year where I would be paid to professionally blog. What could be more fun? For me that is. Anyway, don't you want to exercise your right to vote? So click here and vote. You can vote everyday too. Please do it. Do it for T.D. who likes to gnaw on plastic but I can't feed her that!Vote daily. Tell your friends to vote. Tell your mailman, your personal trainer, tell your friends and family-VOTE FOR VICKY! … [Read more...]
For the Birds? Before the Birds!
I woke up at 4:30 a.m. today. Great googly moogly why?!? The birds weren't even up yet. Darkness stole every corner of the house. Except the basement. I left the light on. The basement, my Fortress of Solitude, also known as the office. I would love to think of it as the Bat Cave, but it's not. The tiny corner I have created just puts my back to the clutter of retired baby gear, tools, the laundry monster's cave, and some old, unused appliances. Sometimes I think someone might be living back there, then I realize I'm just paranoid. I'm up today because I'm hungry. I'm hungry for work. I am looking for, no, I NEED a good writing job. Something that pays more than ten bucks for 800 words. Who are those people anyway? I've been working for free too much lately. I took on a lot of free … [Read more...]
That Floundering Feeling
I had a meeting the other day about a writing job which I'm excited about as it's not a venue I've done a lot with and it will require a bit of detective work on my behalf. I knew going into the meeting that I would have to bring T.D. along and that was fine as this woman also works out of her home and her kids would be there too. Fine. Fine.When I arrived I got T.D. settled in the playroom just off the office. She toddled around the room checking out the new toys. It soon became clear however, that the office was far more fascinating to her and so were the contents of my purse. She showed this fascination by dumping it all over the floor and then systematically removing what I couldn't grab as I tried to pay attention, take notes, and make intelligent conversation. Oy. My stress level … [Read more...]
Happy Monday!
It's a cold, blustery day and it feels more like January than mid-April. The weather is seeping into my soul making it a gooey, slightly sticky, clumped with allergen inducing dust bunny darkened mess. I lurched downstairs to head to the office, ignoring the howling winds outside my door. My coffee in hand I decided to check out my site meter. I do this weekly just to get stats, see who's reading and who's not, etc. I found a link I didn't know about. Mothers Day Central and there I was listed as one of the Top 100 Mom Blogs! Seriously!?! ME?! I mean I like me. Most days. I just had no idea other people liked me like that. It was the push I needed to see and hear. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is really reading this, if I am actually good at this blogging/writing thing, and whether or not I … [Read more...]