Oh honey, you are not alone! I don’t know how many girls nights I have spent talking about this very topic. Women with kids especially have this issue. The emails I have received alone made me respond to this pitched post idea.
So what can you do? Try reading this for one.
The Nine Natural Ways to Get Out of Libido Limbo
by Laurie Steelsmith ND
I wanted to know the most common question she gets asked.
“Many women confide in me that they have negative or anxious feelings, at the deepest level, about their sexuality. The number one question I get is, “Why do I have so little desire?”
In several recent studies, roughly 1 in 3 women reported low or no sexual desire. Other studies have found even higher percentages of low libido among women, particularly women over 50.
If you’re in libido limbo, take heart. There are many ways to regain the sexual excitement and desire of youth–no matter how old you are. Here are nine strategies to get you started.
STRATEGIZE
Diet is key!
1. Add super-libido foods to your diet. The following foods and supplements are unusually rich in nutrients, vitamins, and minerals that have unique potential to promote your sexual well-being. Flaxseeds; hemp seeds; chia seeds; pumpkin seeds; coconut oil; pomegranates; blueberry juice; acai juice; mangosteen juice; cruciferous vegetables, especially broccoli sprouts; green tea; and shiitake mushrooms.
Kids! Who wants to carve a pumpkin?! Like right now!
Fitness aka – I work oouut…
2. Get sex-enhancing exercise. Exercise has many beneficial effects on hormones that promote high libido. But balance is the key. You want to get the benefits of both aerobic exercise (exercises that make you sweat and raise your heart rate) and resistance exercise like weight lifting–at least 20 minutes of each, 3-4 times/week. You can also use the Chinese principle of yin and yang to achieve balance. Examples of yin, or mellow, exercises are walking, canoeing in a lake, swimming in a pool, slow ballroom dancing, or gentle hatha yoga. Yang, or rigorous, exercises might include mountain biking, running, high-impact aerobics, tennis, or heavy weight lifting.
I’m just going to say it, lifting weights is what does it for me. I’ve actually been way more affectionate as a whole since I started lifting weights each week.
Go Green!
3. Detox your home for better sex drive. Toxins in our environment wreak havoc on our libido. When your body is not bombarded with chemicals it can’t easily process, it doesn’t have to expend so much energy flushing out toxins–and you’ll feel your energy and sex drive increase. Go through every cabinet, drawer, and shelf in your house and swap chemical cleaning products and personal care products for all-natural versions, which work just as well. Throw out nonstick Teflon pans, and dump all plastic containers in the recycle bin.
Raise your hand if you have done a cleanse or detox and found this to be true. I know I have every time.
4. Cleanse your body from the inside out. Do a 21-day dietary cleanse and you’ll feel the difference in your libido. For 21 days, eliminate all gluten and sugar from your diet. For grains, consume only rice, quinoa, amaranth, tapioca, and buckwheat. Eat a multicolored raw salad every day. Up your vegetable intake–particularly cruciferous vegetables. Avoid dairy and egg products. Limit your protein to organic poultry, wild salmon, and beans and legumes. Minimize your fruit intake. Every day drink at least 12 ounces of water with lemon juice added. Dry brush your body once a day before you shower or bathe, and try to visit a sauna at least twice a week to sweat out toxins.
This is a lot of work. I know. But doing a few of the things will help. Don’t freak out, keep reading.
5. Supplement to support your midlife libido. For midlife women, low libido may be tied to how efficiently your body metabolizes, or breaks down, estrogen. The following foods and nutritional supplements will noticeably improve your body’s ability to make friendly estrogen and eliminate “unfriendly” estrogen: seaweed; cruciferous vegetables; DIM (short for diindolylmethane), which is a cruciferous vegetable extract; calcium d-glucarate; and liver lipotropic formula, a blend of herbs and nutrients that helps your liver break down toxin more efficiently and supports your friendly estrogen metabolism. You can also consult experts like Regain Functional Medicine + Aesthetics to know more about treatments you can do such as getting an O-Shot in Naples, FL or exosomes in Dallas, TX. For men in your life, you can ask them to look into treatments like TRT therapy in Aledo, TX or PRP treatment in Kansas City, MO.
6. Try herbal aphrodisiacs. Here’s a list of my top 12 herbal aphrodisiacs. Their benefits vary from one person to the next, so you may need to experiment to discover which suits you best: Chinese ginseng; cordyceps; rehmannia; epimedium; reishi; ginkgo biloba; catuaba; suma; muira puama; damiana; maca; and yohimbine. Some of these may be familiar to you, others not. You can learn more about what they are and how to take them in my book.
7. Consume libido-enhancing foods and supplements. If you consistently take nutritional supplements and follow the 21-day cleanse, you’ll notice a change in your libido. In addition, these supplements and foods can pack an extra punch of pleasure potential: L-arginine, an amino acid; PEA, known as the “love supplement” and short for phenylethylamine; sweet potatoes; chocolate; oysters; chili peppers; and honey.
I wonder if this includes sweet potato french fries.
8. Minimize anti-aphrodisiac foods in your diet. A few dietary options deserve special attention for their potential to seriously hamper your long-term sexual health and libido. These include: alcohol, a toxin that has a negative effect on your sex hormones; fatty foods, which make you feel heavy and lethargic; trans fats, which obstruct male as well as female hormone production; sugar, which reduces your ability to become aroused by increasing the stress hormone cortisol; and caffeine, which breaks down testosterone, which is vital to libido.
To be honest, when we are on vacation or just out of town and our sugar and fatty food consumption sky rockets I never want to have sex. I’m too bloated and tired.
9. Use your mind to create a sexy lifestyle. Stress and lack of time are two factors that contribute to low libido. Manage your stress so you feel more relaxed and in touch with your body. Then create more time to spend with your partner. Good communication is also important for a sexy lifestyle. Sharing intimate thoughts and feelings is a definite aphrodisiac. Work on building “sexual trust”–a woman’s capacity for pleasure is closely linked to her brain’s ability to release inhibition, suspend judgment, and let down her guard, all of which is possible when the relationship feels safe and dependable. Finally, support your right brain, the side of your brain associated with intuitive and nonlinear thinking. Do this by adding yoga, art, music, dance, spontaneous fun, and play to your life.
That whole let your guard down and feel safe thing is totally how it works for me. If I don’t have that, neither do you. Heh.
More on Dr. Steelsmith
* * * * * Dr. Laurie Steelmith is a licensed naturopathic physician and acupuncturist with a 20-year private practice in Honolulu. A leading spokesperson on natural medicine, she has appeared widely on TV, radio, and in print. She and her husband Alex Steelsmith, are coauthors of Great Sex, Naturally: Every Woman’s Guide to Enhancing Her Sexuality Through the Secrets of Natural Medicine (Hay House, July 2012).
Hummm might have to try some of those tips.