Running to Where I Need to Be

Twice last week I stepped out of my comfort zone when it came to running.  Since most of my days are highly structured due to the schedules of the four other people living in my house, my runs and other workouts have to happen at specific times and days.  Ballet class at 10 in the morning?  No gym running.  School is only half a morning?  Going to miss ME.  That’s this week and it rankles me.

Last week I made it the exception and had two of the better runs I’ve had in a very long time. Not only did I need to complete those miles for training, I needed them mentally to get my head back in the training game. By stepping out of my comfy, albeit rigid area of schedules for training with this half-marathon, if I don’t do it this way the training simply will not happen.  Race day will come and my knee will act up, I will be too tired and it will be a giant mess. 

Run 1-

I didn’t plan to go on that first run at all until I woke up early one morning to get some work in before TD started her first day of first grade.  I simply thought I would squeeze in some quiet moments, write a bit and then the whirlwind would begin.  An hour in and I was itching to get outside.  I looked at the clock and decided that if I slipped out the door and did a quick two miles I would still have time to stretch and be back in time for the morning rush.  It pays to wake up early and dress in running clothes each day!

It was a rush.  For me, I ran up hills faster than normal, feeling the strength in my legs that wasn’t there last spring.  My hard work all summer of squats and lunges is paying off as I sense, see and feel the added muscle that was never there before I decided to heal my knee with ME classes.  Those two miles were sweaty, fast and fun.  I sprinted home and had ten minutes to spare.  Enough time to stretch out that precarious IT-band and realize it wasn’t sore at all.  Victory!

 

Run 2-

The thought of hours in the car and days without exercise were weighing on my mind.  I wasn’t going to log the miles I needed for the week and I felt a bit panicked.  Not to mention the reason for all this trip was mentally and emotionally stressful.  I was heading up north to visit my uncle with terminal cancer.  I needed to get my head right and in the game before setting out on this journey.  I needed to complete one of the longer runs on that week’s training schedule too.

When I stepped outside it was still dark.  My neighbors were all home and the streets were silent.  I didn’t bring my usual mix of music to blast me through my run opting instead for the balmy silence that mixed with the already humid day.  All I wanted was the sound of my own footsteps hitting the pavement and to hear my breathing as I made my way to my goal of four miles.  Yes, there was more walking than I would have liked on the hills but as I made ran through the hilly streets, past sleeping houses and then sleepy high school students silently plodding towards their bus stops, I felt peaceful.  Energy buzzed through my body as sweat poured over me and I came up on the last leg of my run.  Gone was the frenetic buzzing that was still within me when I hit the mile two marker and slapped a road sign yelling, “Yeah, bitch!” and a distracted driver gave me a quizzical look.  Now I felt ready.  Ready to sit for hours in a car, ready to confront grief and sadness and ready to show love and hopefully provide comfort too.  The sun was creeping over the trees, the high school kids were still waiting for their bus and I had made good time.  My head was in the right place.

If I keep going this way, moving past trees, past houses, down streets and beyond my own rigid need for schedules that don’t always work I will get to where I need to be.