Cross-posted and archived DC Metro Moms post. Original date February 17, 2008. Re-reading this makes me think, "BLD! I want to go to there! Again!"I have a confession to make. I hate kids stuff. Go ahead and tsk tsk me if you want to, that's fine, I'm used to it. If you admit to not loving spending hours putting together the same puzzle or picking up leaves in the freezing cold then I applaud you. I find nothing fun about going to fairs, going on rides, or petting zoos either. Spending the afternoon, day, or a vacation with a cartoon character is not my cup of tea. I can play puzzles, coloring and tea party just so long with my daughter before I have had my fill and I want to go read Newsweek aloud to her instead. And truthfully? I feel just awful about it. I feel like less of a … [Read more...]
New Faces and Places
Maybe we have been cooped up in the house too long because of all this winter weather. Maybe it is the seed that H repeatedly tries to plant in my head about TD branching out her set of friends. Whatever it was, we took a trip just down the road to new horizons this week. We went to a group play date. Did your hand just fly to your mouth as you gasped in shock? I know. I broke our ridiculous and now monotanous routine of work, gym, school, work/play, neighborhood play, dinner, bed. Wake up and do it all again. Gag, snore. I don't know why it takes me so long to do these things. I don't know why I don't schedule them myself. Oh right (smacks forehead) I hate entertaining. That's why. Hives. Hives! There would … [Read more...]
Taking a Break and Some Guilt
After riding behind someone driving a Nissan Xterra who put their hazard lights on to drive through slush, grocery shopping through the holiday melee and putting up a good sweat at the gym I felt a bit addled yesterday. Wanting to beat someone for driving badly in slush is not on par for this time of year. My black heart was still neatly intact. I needed to squelch this irritable air. Fast.I unpacked the groceries, skipping over the black ice, fed the kids lunch and then put them down for naps. Instead of running to my laptop to get work done, putting away laundry, toys or cleaning up other areas of the house and our life, I grabbed a copy of Elle and a cup of coffee. Then I sat my butt down on the couch and read the rest of the magazine, which … [Read more...]
Working with Kids. The Unsolvable Equation.
I woke up late today. So much for Body Pump. I fear I will never see streamlined thighs again. I find myself running around today trying to catch falling yogurt cups before they hit the floor with a splat. Racing down the stairs with the dog who can't keep up and ends up tumbling to the landing in a yelping heap. There I am again on a work phone call, scooping cheerios off a high chair tray as I try to sound coherent and intelligent while TD yells in the background. That's just a fellow co-worker about to go postal over a PowerPoint presentation, right? Five seconds later I'm emailing Gymboree about Bubble Camp and settling TD into a good hour of Sesame Street. Meanwhile The Comedian tries to rewire our entertainment system. I swear that child will know how to hot wire a car by age … [Read more...]
I Hear Nothing
You know what woke me up this morning? Myself. Then I sat there and read for almost an hour. I completed my latest MPR review in under twenty minutes. Make-up is strewn all over my bathroom counter and I don't have to pick it up in fear that little hands will commence their own smear campaign.I'm meeting a friend for lunch today that I haven't seen since she visited me in the hospital with The Comedian. I don't have to be back at any time in particular.H and I saw a movie in the middle of the day. We came home felt it was too quiet and went out for dinner. Crayons with place mats not included. TD and The Comedian left for their Nana's yesterday. Since then H and I have had the most stupid looking grins on our faces. I can actually hear the fan on my laptop just humming away. The … [Read more...]
Flashback Monday: Lucky Star
I was probably about eight at the time. I called myself Aubany(with an 'O' and some sort of accent on the end. Yeah, I have no idea either. I was eight.). I thought I was Madonna with my permed hair, sunglasses and ballet skirt. I guess that was as close to the 'Like a Virgin' look my Mom would let me get at that age. And yes, I'm sportin' a yellow banana clip in my hair. On one side only. Now that is style. … [Read more...]
I’m Killing Me
I've been thinking about death a lot lately. Who can blame me what with the death of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and now Karl Malden. Last night I dreamt that Christina Aguilera delivered my baby in between concert sets while on tour in Japan. Don't dreams of birth actually mean death? It probably also doesn't help that I've been contributing to my own death this week as well. I don't know how it happen but somehow I have a pack of cigarettes in my house and they are rapidly depleting. Can I blame the economy? How about the lack of paid work I have right now? Yeah, that's it. Take my meager earnings and blow it on kill sticks. That's wicked smot. It doesn't help that I have a partner in crime living right in my house either. Just when I think of throwing the … [Read more...]
Angry Woman Kicks 1,4-Dioxane to the Curb
I'll admit I'm a bit cantankerous today. I was up all night with TD who has a hellacious cough and the poor kid is just not herself. Combine that lack of sleep with an issue that just generally gets me riled up anyway and you've got one angry woman on your hands.That must mean it is time for a SOAP BOX RANT! I've climbed up. Attention please! Let me begin.I love my kids. I want what is best for them in every possible way. I want them to feel safe and secure at all times. Their welfare and health is at the tip top of my list on a daily basis. So that is why I get so steaming, hell-fire breathing mad when I read that companies that many parents have trusted for generations, companies that love to court us mommy bloggers, just really don't give a shit. There. I said it. They don't. … [Read more...]
Toddler Pulled Over for DUI
I know. I know. I'm all about the weird news this week but this grabbed my attention this morning as I was driving myself down the road and T.D. was in the back seat. Not I might add, driving. Because, no matter how sick I might feel? I'm not letting that crazy kid drive my tank of a car. For reals folks this actually happened.GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Ohio -- GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Ohio -- A police officer in Ohio said he pulled over a woman he suspected was driving drunk and found the woman's 1-year-old son steering the wheel, reported WLWT-TV in Cincinnati. Marya Green was pulled over Tuesday.The officer said that when he came to the driver's window, he found Green's 1-year-old son at the wheel, sitting in Green's lap. Green, 29, registered a 0.11 percent blood-alcohol level. Two other children, … [Read more...]
She’s Crafty
THUD!CRASH!BANG!Footsteps can be heard running overhead with the sound of hysterical Joker-esque laughter following it. Yelling quickly ensues. It sounds like an old Adam West Batman episode is at play in my house. Aah, nap time!That crash was her pink plastic pig. The thud? A pile of books she has unceremoniously dropped from her bed.The bang is new. I'll have to investigate.Some people remove all furniture from their toddler's room when these things occur. I've seen many a bare toddler room. I wonder where they put all the kids stuff. Her grandparents freak out and fear for her life and I do too a little bit but I feel that even if we removed all T.D.'s furniture she would still find some way to climb, jump and make quite a commotion. I would have to rip the windowsill off the window and … [Read more...]