So you are getting a meme. Feel free to laugh and mock at my answers all you want. Hey it was either this or I was going to have to tell you all about H's dead toenail. The one that he kept scratching last night as I tried to watch Medium. Scritch, Scritch, Scritch... it was too awful.1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, just victory. It was a victory in the family that I was a girl. 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Tuesday night, sadly watching Scott Baio is 46 & pregnant- oh the shame.3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? For reals? I never thought about it. I'm still not thinking about it.4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? This is a question? Turkey but none of that smoked stuff. Plech!5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I have a daughter. She is a tiny dictator.6. IF YOU WERE … [Read more...]
Whoo Whee! The Excitement Cannot Be Contained.
I'd like to think I lead the kind of exciting life that provides endlessly funny and entertaining blog fodder but lately not even Target runs or treks to the low-budget grocery store produce more than mild annoyance or wild moments of elation (incredibly cute shoes for $7!!!) and the hum drum moments that make up everyday life. Really. Do you really want to know that I almost snapped after my daughter discovered her first paper cut and proceeded to say, "paypah tut" about ninety times, and that is a minimal estimate, in a row that made me slowly crazy. The dog has not peed in our bed this week so, Huzzah! I have just been working, staying in line with the 10 week challenge and no one at my gym has even done anything remotely amusing. I cannot count the block of Dire Straits … [Read more...]
Damn this Consistency Thing Called Parenting
I knew it would be hard. I knew there would be sleepless nights, bad diapers, crying jags and sickness. I knew that some days I would just want to throw in the towel. That I would flop down on the couch too exhausted to even watch 'The Riches'. But really? I just never knew parenting could be this hard. This exhausting. That the amount of consistency that is needed would be this constant.Call me a moron right now ladies and gentlemen, but damn toddlerhood is tiring. Parenting is exhausting. The energy factor alone can be daunting but when they get in that Rain Man mode of repeating things with the exact same pitch in each word each and EVERY time they say it (which would be 80 times in a 30-second span) no one told me that you would want to run screaming out the front door. No one told me … [Read more...]
The Final Countdown (Could you stop with the music by Europe now?!)
Fine. Here. Have your music and let's get on with it.I hurt. Many, many places today.Ow.My armpits are sore. I think I may have pulled an ear muscle. My obliques are shaking. Did I mention that I'm in pain? All over.I finally kicked started myself into going to the gym. I've been about once a week this month if that, excluding the week I was projecting mucus from my lungs. I decided that I needed more motivation than just howling at my saddle bags while I stand naked in my bathroom in the morning. They just sort of laugh at me now and it isn't enough to keep me going. I laugh back at them and we have started calling it a day. That being said I developed a plan (if you are picturing me rubbing my hands together like some Duddly Do-right villain you are spot on.)that combines me staying … [Read more...]
House Flippin’ Gets Me Hot
Many of you know that H & I have a side business where we flip houses. Go ahead gush about how much you love to watch HGTV and TLC home shows. That's right. Uh-huh. Yes, we do love to watch those shows too. Oh you want to do it too? Really? Yup, it is just so much fun. Did I mention though how freakin' hard it can be? That sometimes you can't get an investor to save your life. Or you have one lined up and then poof! no property! How about the fact that banks own many, many, many properties but hold on to them tighter than that elusive diamond up Cameron's ass. Somehow though the whole thing gets me hot. I don't know if it is the paint fumes, the carpet glue or picking out cabinets and tile that does it but there is definitely some freaky mojo at work. So when H asked me to cancel … [Read more...]
Tarzhay Drapes = Freedom
T.D. has been at Nana's since Tuesday. It's always weird when she is gone. The days fly by. H & I don't know what to do with ourselves and the house feels too quiet. At the same time though I've had concentrated times to work and download useless songs on my Ipod (I went a little Depeche Mode crazy yesterday). We miss her but there is something to be said for all this-Wandering through Target with only my purse. I spent twenty minutes just looking at drapes. I wandered through every department actually looking at things and processing information. The light I want for our bathroom? I STILL remember the price and I didn't even have to write it down! What's more? I didn't buy a thing! I walked out of Tarzhay with nada. That is a feat or a miracle unto itself!Ulta. Found some fun things … [Read more...]
H & the Unholy Trinity
There is a reason I normally do the grocery shopping in our house. H just gets too fired up while he is there. It takes me about 45 minutes to calm him down after each excursion. I must admit that I often agree with him but once I walk through those automated doors my mind shuts off and I am all about the list and getting the heck out of there in record time. If I can do a weeks worth of shopping in under 30 I am a happy camper. H's top three reasons he isn't allowed to go to the grocery store.1. The beige factor- It gets to me too. For H, it's worse. He will rant and rail against the fact that the frozen food section consists of food that is one color only. Beige. Why? Because it's fried carbohydrates or some type of processed food that sends him into a nauseated state of despair and … [Read more...]
Wine, Women and one Incredible Baby Soothing Machine
Three years ago I didn't even know what a blog was until this woman decided to write an insanely funny book that lead me to her blog. A year ago I never would have believed that I would belong to such a great group of writers who continually inspire and amaze me. There I was last night at the Le Chat Noir talking to marketing people from Graco about their new product, sweetpeace (which I must say is quite possibly one of the coolest baby products I've seen to date. Hello! Graco! If I get knocked up this year can I review one?!) and surrounded by incredibly fun, smart and driven women who do the same thing as me and more. I love being able to talk shop without having to explain a million bloggy things and share experiences, tips, talk about Thayer St. and new ventures. I always learn so … [Read more...]
Overheards
SCENE: My house. Getting ready for bed last night.Me: Why didn't you tell me I had orange stuff all on the side of my face? What is that?!H: Oh. I thought it was for your zit.Me: Nice. NO! H: Well, that thing is scary. It was talking to me during dinner saying, (using a voice as if the zit has possessed him) "H! ME HUNGRY! GIVE ME CHOCOLATE! HOT CHA CHA. ME WANT HOT CHA CHA!"Me: That is so mean! As if I don't feel bad enough with T.D. touching it today saying, "OW! boo-boo Momma! Ow!!!" with my bad hair that desperately needs a haircut, my Santa bowlful of jelly belly right now and now this zit. Which isn't that bad!! You are so mean. Do I say mean things to you about your gray hair? No! I don't point out things like that on you. (I scoot to the other side of the bed and turn my back to … [Read more...]
Wii Crazy
While ellipticizing my butt and thighs at the gym the other day I was again astounded by the Wii craze. There it was on the news, lines of sheep (ahem)people lined up for the Wii. Yes, the Wii is BIG FUN. I personally would love to own one. But do I want to sit outside in the freezing cold outside a big box store for over 24hours to obtain one? That would be a no. I prefer to wait. Which means I'll probably never buy one. It hit me then that those lines are such a distraction. People get so wrapped up in the media-induced frenzy of Black Friday and getting 'the gift' of the season for kids and adults EVERY YEAR that the message of the season really does get lost. How can you think of goodwill towards men when you are jockeying in line for hours on end while catching your death? What comes … [Read more...]