While making dinner the other night I was simultaneously finally getting around to watching the HBO mini-series about John Adams. Just into the first disc and rummaging through the pantry TD caught me off guard. Coming to my side, she asked, "Momma? Momma! What is wrong? Why are you crying?" I looked at her as I wiped a tear away and took a deep, cleansing breath and said, "Oh it's nothing, TD. Your Mom is just a giant dork. A giant dork who gets really into history. The Revolution, the sacrafice, the birth of our nation, all of it." I sighed again as I thought about how our world has changed since Adams time. Tom Wilkinson plays Ben Franklin and he states, "It is no small thing to build a new world."Is that what we are doing once … [Read more...]
The Bad Lady Gaga
Now, I know I am clearly a Lady Gaga freak, but the Tiny Dictator has become a tad obsessed. Who am I kidding? Dictators are never a 'tad' anything. All I get all day long is one request, "Momma! I want Lady Gaga. The bad Lady Gaga! The bad Lady Gaga LOUD!"So, here is what I see about a bazillion times a day. Apparently dictators also like to try their hand at break dancing. … [Read more...]
Paging Billy Blanks
Remember Tae-Bo? Billy Blanks sweaty, bald head bobbing and weaving as he "punched it out" via my VCR. Oh! Remember VCR's?I digress. I faithfully did Tae-Bo back when I was in college in hopes that I would build up some arm muscles. I no longer remember if I obtained those results. I think I only achieved those through Power Yoga a few years later. I should probably break out those old tapes and find myself a VCR so I can try to brush up on "my moves" because today I will be taking my first boxing class. I recently won a free month at my local boxing gym and while I am a bit scared, it might be good for me. I can get out some of that holiday stress, work off that giant candy bar I ate yesterday and pretend that the punching bag is H's "holiday beard". Grrr... I hate that thing. It is as if … [Read more...]
It’s Just Sad
Blatantly stealing from Jodifur's post today because I can't crawl out from under my own conundrums here is what is "Crazy Sad".- I asked for a Polder meat thermometer for Christmas. I would rather it not be a gift but since I can't cook a chicken to save my life, I might actually need this thing.- Asking for a meat thermometer makes me feel like I'm 87 and should be named Pearl. I think patent leather box-shaped handbags are all the rage. My best friend's name is Madge and she smokes Salems. My 14 cats hate her and our long games of Canasta.- I can't for the life of me think of what to buy a one year-old at Christmas. Still I would feel just awful if years from now she didn't see any photos of her unwrapping a present, just photos of her eating the wrapping paper. … [Read more...]
A Barbie Dream House for Me
A reprint of a post from the past- all about a Christmas past. Enjoy! Be sure to check out MPR's Holiday Gift Guide- new items have been added!There it sat. Huge and under the tree. The tag insisted that I was correct, this big box from Santa/my grandparents was intended for only me. My five year-old brain was buzzing with ideas. I could barely contain my excitement. My mother kept warning me to stay away from the tree, "It's not time to open presents yet. Stop touching things and back away from the tree!" I think I might have done a little dance of protest before I backed away. I sat on my grandmother's paisley and floral couch and wondered, what could it be? A pony? It was certainly a large enough box. Then my mind settled on it. The only thing it could be. The only thing I … [Read more...]
Civics 101, Please.
Come closer. Closer. That's it. Now, let me school ya on something. Obama? You know, that man that was elected President? He's been in office for a little over 320 days now and he hasn't accomplished ANYTHING, has he? Geezy-peets! No, he hasn't. It's all I hear, all the time. It makes me "smash your forehead into a hard surface" angry. I want to ask them if they thought Obama would pay off their mortgage or car loan too when he was elected into office. Oh wait. They didn't vote for him. That's what it is. Fine. That's fine. That doesn't bother me. To each their own. What gets me it is that no one seems to remember Civics 101. Like I said in 'I Am Not Un-American', things do not happen over … [Read more...]
Rudolph Gets the Axe
The holiday season is upon us. Cards are arriving in the mailbox, we have broken out the advent wreath, candles and calendar. I'm dreaming of not just a white Christmas and sugar plum fairies but homemade marshmallows, snickerdoodles, fudge, peppermint bark....mmm peppermint bark...marshmallow goodness... Wait. Where was I? I was busy wiping my saliva off my keyboard before I shorted out my laptop.I truly love this time of year for quite a few reasons. I like shopping, I like giving, the songs, that special glow from the lights. Home Alone. The Muppet Christmas Carol. Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas. I love them all. They never fail to put me in the mood of the season. Notice something missing though? That would be … [Read more...]
Black Suction a.k.a My Bad Place
You know what sucks?My house smells like I have a pot roast in the oven and I can't figure out why. I didn't buy a pot roast. But it's either a pot roast or a hobo. I can't decide.When you start fighting before you even make it out of the bed in the morning. You then spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to solve the problem, hating yourself and wishing you were one of those women who was smarter, didn't say what she was thinking and could stop hurting the other person.Waking up at 5:15. For any reason. It's still dark out. You had the "state of our finances" discussion the night before and you drank a few glasses of wine to help you formulate the numbers. What? It works! Wine makes financial discussions Hell-ari-OUS. Trust me. It also makes sitcoms funny. Heh. … [Read more...]
I Am Not Amused.
I saw a t-shirt the other day and I think it was supposed to be amusing. As in, "Ha, isn't it funny that I do this? Come on! You know you do it too." Except it just screamed, "Ha! I control everything! I can't let anyone do anything for themselves and I enjoy stunting my children for life." Well, that is what it screamed to me. Anyways...The t-shirt said, "Wink if you do your's kids homework." Oh you, cheeky t-shirt,you. I thought that we were supposed to be out of this helicopter "trend". … [Read more...]
I’m Thankful
I'm thankful for the safe car ride down to my parents house last night and the nice barista at SBUX who made me a tasty Espresso Truffle for the road. 'Tis officially the holiday season so I will partake of that creamy, whipped drink.I'm thankful for cranberry relish, turkey with gravy and stuffed celery. I so can't wait for those tomorrow!I'm thankful for a spouse who is home and not away. For all my friends and family who are not deployed.I'm thankful for two healthy children and their two smiling faces. They drive me to drink some days but I love them anyway.I'm thankful H is a free-range parent like myself. Because if he was all into hovering like a helicopter I would have left him by now.I'm thankful for the drizzling rain that made for an excellent run this morning. My rain-slicked … [Read more...]