You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.You really are a heel.You're as cuddly as a cactus,You're as charming as an eel.Mr. Grinch.Ooh I'm feeling awfully Grinch-like the last few days. I tried in vain to get into the Christmas spirit by wrapping presents. We've decorated our tree. I've baked cookies, made candy and tied it all with a bow. All to no avail. I just can't seem to pump some well-needed holiday cheer into my now tiny, hardened black heart. Maybe it's our insane, disjointed schedule. Maybe it's the fact that H and T.D. are always sick lately. Maybe it's the overtime without pay I keep putting in, the endless meetings and rounds of changes at work and lack of gym time. My body hurts from lack of movement. If I don't get my yoga class asap I might snap. Either that or my shoulders … [Read more...]

We've all done things that we are not proud of, things we regret. Hindsight is 20/20 after all. Maybe you regret that unfortunate acid jeans and matching acid-wash jacket. Possibly it's the fact that you still own a leisure suit or once kicked a three-legged dog because it just wasn't gimping fast enough for you. Well, here's one of my things. I once bought, owned and (gulp) wore a t-shirt that said...Playboy on it.I know. I know. I cringe whenever I think of that stupid thing. Why?! In fact it's still hanging in the way back of my closet. A reminder of a less than secure time in my life I suppose. Why did I buy it? Was it an impluse purchase? I have to say no to that. It was definetly a calculated buy. I bought it, of course, when I was much smaller and more svelte. It's white … [Read more...]

1. Stuffed animals placed in the back windows of cars. You can't see them so why put them there? They give no insight into the drivers personality either. 2. Crystals hanging from a rearview mirror. They blind me how do they not blind the driver? Aren't they illegal anyway?3. When women wear dark brown lip liner and that's it. Does anyone else think this looks like they just ate dog doody?4. Those creepy Christmas specials from the 1960s of Rudolph and Santa. Seriously they give me the heebie jeebies and I just cannot watch.5. Santa, turkey, easter egg or other holiday themed sweatshirt and sweaters. On anyone except maybe someone over the age of 75. It's not festive its dorky and flatters no one but a nursing home resident.6. The allure and power that is Tom Cruise. He … [Read more...]

Call her green and the winters cannot fade herCall her green for the children who've made herLittle green, be a gypsy dancer Just a little greenLike the color when the spring is bornThere'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow - Joni Mitchell Sometimes it's still easy to forget that there is a life growing inside of me. Mostly, my body and my life is still my own. At almost twenty weeks, I don't really look pregnant to people who don't know me yet, so it's still my secret. But all of that is rapidly changing. We felt the baby move for the first time this week. I had my hand on my stomach as I lay on the couch and there it was. The unmistakable feeling of something twitching in my abdomen. At first, I was sure I had imagined being able to feel it with my hand on the outside of my body, … [Read more...]

You know that saying, "Be happy with what you've got...."? What about the one about being thankful for what you have? Yes, you know the ones I'm talking about. This past holiday I wanted to scream this a few times. I find myself wanting to do that more and more along with declaring, My Body, IT'S MY BODY!!!! Not YOURS!!! Get Back, SHUT UP! Then resorting to some bribery to get people to lay off this one simple "request"/question. When will you have another child?Seriously? Seriously?! I just popped out a kid nine months ago and already family, friends, my waxer and a few random strangers are asking when we will have another. If they aren't asking that they just say, "Don't you think it's time to start having another one?" Geez!! Enough already! I had a hard enough time with … [Read more...]

Thanksgiving day dawned a nasty gray in our area. It was windy, cold and rainy. Growing up in New England this was nothing new, but here in the southern states it is usually sunny and to me unseasonably warm. After sitting around the breakfast table with H's family for a good portion of the morning, I had been up with T.D. since the birds peeped their eyes open, I couldn't sit and let my breakfast burrito turn to a rock in my stomach. I had a whole day of eating ahead of me. I felt like a doughnut. I needed movement. When the collective group still in their pj's declared it was naptime I almost screamed. NAP TIME? NAPTIME?!? It's 10:30 people! I can't nap if I'm going to be eating all day in this overheated, full of people house!! I need to move! I looked at H and said, "I'm going … [Read more...]

Sure everyone does right? We all tend to overindulge from oh about Halloween to right after New Year's when we have renewed our gym membership and vow to become svelte that year! Supposedly many Americans will gain between one to eleven!! pounds this holiday season. ELEVEN?! What are you guzzling eggnog while cramming whole briskets into your piehole?Anyway, so here is what H and I discovered this past weekend. It's a surefire way to lose those extra pounds. It's called food poisoning! Great idea huh? Yeah, it worked for me too. I got sick on Saturday night, as did H, and by Monday morning I had lost 4 lbs!! Am I giddy? No, not really, I'm still freakin' exhausted from living on the bathroom floor with a bucket, tub, toilet and trashcan as my best friend. All while H is in another … [Read more...]

Sanctimommy sangk'temame. Noun. A Mom who loves to get on her high horse about everything from school to snacks. I found this funny little blurb in Parenting magazine this week and YES! I do know her! We all do don't we? Question is, what do you do when you run across her or have to deal with her for a playdate or two? Do you run the other way? Smile and nod? Or gnash your teeth and want to catch her feeding her kids junk later? That's the question of the week kiddies. How do you handle the Sanctimommy on your block? … [Read more...]

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. H & I will be traveling to his Mom's for the big day. T.D in true dictator fashion is already down there. She was privately chauffered on Sunday as dictators cannot risk sitting in traffic with the common folks. She's been enjoying a little R&R from daycare and supervising to her heart's content on the Thanksgiving feast. Have a great Turkey Day all! See you in a few. … [Read more...]

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