This weekend I read Brooke Shields book- ‘Down Came the Rain’ all about her journey through Post-Partum depression. For the most part it was a very good read. For me anyways. I found what she went through startlingly similar to my bout with PPD. It takes a while for it to go away and the feelings of disconnect, denial and total despair hit me hard. Reading all about her lack of empathy or connection to her daughter was like going back to how I felt regarding T.D. just weeks ago. It took me so long to admit that the way I was feeling was not really me but the PPD and admitting to it. It also made me think back to some of the things my mother had told me about her issue with PPD. Thirty years ago she dealt with it after she stopped nursing me. It took her a long long time to overcome it without therapy or medication. I’m so glad that modern medecine has come so far. I’m glad that Brooke wrote that book too! Totally makes me despise Tom Cruise more. I know without a doubt that the worst of it came when I went back to work. The change in routine can make it so much more heightened. The days of feeling out of control and profoundly saddened are not all together gone but they are less and less frequent. In early August I will go to a psychiatrist to evaluate whether or not I still need medication and if so what and the dosage. I wonder still if I do. When I have stressful days or I feel suddenly angry I wonder if it’s the depression creeping back in or just a bad day. I can’t let that get me down or further into that pit I’ve been trying to crawl out of. Having my friends and family support me has been one of the best things of all. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. Thank you.
On another note I also just finished ‘Eye Contact’ by Cammie McGovern. McGovern the mother of an autistic boy has written a work of fiction surrounding an autistic boy witnessing the murder of a fellow classmate. It’s a fascinating look into the mind of the autistic as well as what the families daily lives are like. The twists in the story are also very well done. I could not put it down!
Keep reading and thanks for all your support!
Have you read “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time”? It’s a novel told from the point of view of an autistic teenager who finds his neighbor’s dog murdered and tries to solve the mystery. A quick read and very entertaining.