No, You’re a Douchebag

From the files of : Things I will not be reviewing now or ever comes…

Waterworks Natural Vaginal Therapy. Works just like your ordinary douchebag without upsetting your “vaginal ecosystem”.

Yes, really.

I’m not even going to go into how I cannot review a product like this in my current prego condition and I don’t review items I cannot actually use or believe in using before writing them up. Nor will I get all twitchy about how yet, again, the PR company did zero research on who they were marketing to and how this is not something I would “endorse.”

But this? This just killed me.

“Stainless Steel and Water. Using stainless steel with running water is a recognized method of eliminating the volatile sulfur compounds (VSC) that cause odor. The combination of a stainless steel soap bar and tap water is used by chefs as the most effective way to eliminate odors such as garlic, onions and fish from the hands of food preparers. WaterWorks uses the same principle to reduce or eliminate vaginal odor.”

Oooh. I’m all volatile and such. I just love me the idea of stainless steel mixing with my delicate nether regions, don’t you?! And um.. how about comparing vaginal odor to chef’s, food preparation and the ever-present fish anecdote? Seriously? This is going to sell to women? Stellar marketing department right there. I read that and think, “WHAT?! You talk about garlic and onions and my twat and expect me to buy your product?”

Who writes this shit?

Comments

  1. says

    Oh my God, I loved this post! So funny!! Especially the first line “Works just like your ordinary douchebag without upsetting your “vaginal ecosystem”. What?! Why not just use a stainless steel knife or scissors and cut the whole messy, smelly twat right out of the female body?? What ordinary douchebsg thought this up?