Opening Pandora’s Bra?

I was watching the movie, Glory, the other night. I seriously love that movie. The first time I saw it, twenty years ago (gulp!) I cried for 45 minutes after it was over. I broke my rule of not crying in front of my family too. Maybe it was the sight of all those chest wounds that got me thinking, “I haven’t done a breast exam since before I was pregnant with The Comedian”. So I did one right there as I sat in my darkened den taking in the Civil War flick. What? As if weirder things haven’t happened on your couch.

That’s when I found it. The gumball-sized lump laying underneath my right nipple. I should have known there would be something. It had been sore for the last day or so and I had just said to H that weekend, “You know, I am always dealing with your little sprains, bouts with crutches, stitches and ER visits. It just makes me think that you are going to have to deal with something big with me.” Cue ominous organ music.

I felt some more. I felt the left side again too. Then I asked H to feel it. Yup. There is indeed something there. It was tender to the touch and not the least bit pleasing. H told me I was a hypochondriac who was just freaked out about some email I had gotten regarding larvae infesting a woman’s breasts through her bra. Gut instinct however, told me to call the doctor. Especially after noticing some swelling and not being able to sleep on my stomach any longer. There seemed to be some discoloring as well.

The doctor looked it over, felt me up and proclaimed it, “I’m not sure. Let’s get an ultrasound to see what is going on there.” She gave me sad eyes that seemed filled with concern and uncertainty and sent me on my way. I’m icing it per her advice and the swelling has gone down. I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I think it will turn out to be a cyst or a clogged duct left over from weaning The Comedian a few weeks back. However, one can’t be overly confident about these things. I had to get it checked out. After all, it could be something else entirely and I just need to be sure. For my own sanity’s sake and if I want to get all morbid, for my kids sakes as well.

I would really like to keep remembering ‘Glory’ as the film I cried for 45 minutes over and not something else.