It’s a busy here. Actually, when isn’t it busy here? I’ve got three kids under five. One of which does all of the following and more in a single day-
“Mom! The Comedian has food coloring!” Yes, she did. I entered the kitchen just as she was about to squeeze out drops of yellow food coloring onto the kitchen floor. Next to her feet was an uncorked bottle of wine she had also seized from the pantry. I don’t know what kind of party she had in mind but I wasn’t down with it.
That same day she clogged the upstairs bathroom with toilet paper and then proceeded to take all the paper out and throw it on the bathroom walls. Before I even got to that I had to pick up an unopened box of ob tampons that were all over the bathroom floor and in the tub.
The tub. She got in it at 5 a.m. and was stomping around throwing tub toys. No, it didn’t have water in it. Give me some credit.
She found a stray orange marker and “stripe-ped” the den carpet with it. Also her face, hands and soles of her feet.
It sounds like I don’t watch her and let her run around like an aimless barnyard chicken but when you are going from one mess to the other trying to clean it up she is paces ahead creating another snafu. Throw in a dog, high maintenance preschooler (“But I want to make Valentine princesses and glittery heart flowers with you NOW! While jumping on the couch and cuddling and brushing my hair! Can we please!?! Why isn’t Curious George on?”) and a three month-old who likes to have her diaper changed and be fed in all this mayhem and it’s overwhelming.
Now is where I should insert that line about “it being all worth it.” It is, right? Tell me it is. Because when I’m cleaning up dog poop from my old ass dog (heh) who can’t quite always keep it in her rear or make it outside, wiping two butts and doling out Bunny crackers like a corner dealer in Hamsterdam I seriously have to wonder. How is this shaping America’s future? Am I even remotely doing this whole parenting thing right because I feel like I’m involved in some sort of government experiment instead.
I feel you. I do. I often wonder, myself. The only advice I have is to get a child-proof door handle cover for the bathroom. That has saved us a gajillion messes and headaches. The rest….well….This too shall pass, my friend.
For me. Say it's worth it for my sake, please. For my future… 😉
I've never commented here before, but this post dragged me out of the woodwork! I am right there in that boat, with a five year old, three year old, and two month old.I too often feel like this cannot be RIGHT, the amount of mayhem I deal with. What am I doing wrong? What are THEY doing wrong?A government experiment, indeed. How long can we keep this woman running in circles, putting out fires from all three little ones while trying to stay on top of all her other responsibilities, before she cracks up?