Scene: Breakfast table. TD is headed upstairs to dress for school. The Comedian is still eating the last remnants of her cereal. I’m packing up her lunch, picking up items off the floor, and putting dishes in the sink.
The Comedian: “Wash, wash, wash.”
Me: “What are you washing?”
The Comedian: “Um. Myself.”
Me: “Good. You need to use napkins more. Good job!”
The Comedian: “Yesss. Wash, wash, wash. Washing with milk.”
Me: “What?”
I turn to look. While I packed her sisters lunch The Comedian has stripped down naked at the breakfast table and begun smearing her cereal milk all over herself.
Me: Loud, audible sigh. “We don’t wash with miiilllk. Ugh! It doesn’t get you clean. It makes you smelly and dirty.”
I’m not even going to impart the possible beauty lesson milk has for the skin. I sense this is not the right crowd.