“Being a parent is the toughest job you will ever have.”
-My Mother
It’s not that I didn’t believe my mom when she said these words but then I went and had three kids, all girls, who are hitting that tween and teen stage and now I’m a true believer. I’m learning those mother-daughter days in order to tackle the big stuff and not just for tea parties, lunches out or getting treats.
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Yes, the diaper days were rough. The physical nature of parenting little ones is damn hard. I was not prepared for that aspect of it. But tweens and teens come with so many emotions, the highs, and lows. The bigger problems that force us as parents to reflect on our past and then figure out how to handle the same issues in a different world. That doesn’t even factor into the running them around town to meet friends or be at activities. Or how they run through your food like a pack of locusts giving my Costco membership a run for its money. We all want our kids to feel loved, be healthy, be kind to others and know right from wrong. How we do this as parents can vary from household to household and from kid to kid.
There is no one size fits all way to raise a child. What works for one may not work for another.
This holds true to how I talk to my girls about puberty too. One kid wants to dive in and read all the books at a young age, asking tons of questions about her body, can she have a training bra now and staring at the pictures in the book I bought for each of them. The other, still young, just absorbs it all like a sponge and giggles. The oldest? It’s like pulling teeth and has been since we first started conversations back in elementary school. I have to schedule mother-daughter days with her just to make sure we are covering all the bases and connect. She’s as silent as an oyster that one.
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The conversations have to be short. We read a page or two at a time from the book we have. She chooses to write her questions in a notebook that is then placed on my nightstand so that I can answer them in writing and silently give it back to her to read on her own time in the privacy of her own room.
We picked up the necessary items for when her period starts. We talked about options like tampons versus pads or using products like Knixteen. Something that wasn’t even an option when I was growing up but one that I most certainly would have tried and tested. I make sure to spend time with her out of the house and away from her sisters because that’s when we will have the most time to talk and is the best way to get her to open up. Mother-Daughter days aren’t just for shopping. They create memories, bonds and the chance to connect on a deeper level than the day to day running around. These are the times I will remember. This is the way we truly get a larger understanding of their world and how to help them navigate it.
*Disclosure: TMC received compensation for this post. Opinions are 100% my own.
