I’ll Get There at Some Point

It's a beautiful snowy day here in the 'burbs. There's no school. Dash Two is teething and TD and I have a cold. I'm trying to stay positive but there was little sleep to be had in my house by me last night. I just couldn't stay asleep and for no good reason other than my brain was whirring away on mindless junk.Today is day one on the meds my doctor prescribed. I'll take them for a month to see how it all goes. I just have one thing to say though, if one more person tells me I need to "just get more sleep and hit the gym." I'm going to cover them with brain goo because my head really will have exploded. Seriously? That's all I need to do? How about the fact that when I think of loading the kids in the car right now, the two hours it takes me to get out the door and lugging that heavy baby … [Read more...]

It’s Nothing Like Last Time

I feel I should check in despite it being a Sunday (read: a day I don't normally post on) because-A. My blog is making my Dad nervous.2. I've had a lot of concerned emails, new twitter follows and some comments that are longer than the norm expressing heartfelt concern and love. I can't even begin to thank you all for all of it. It never ceases to amaze me that the Internet is my friend.andD. I made cupcakes and didn't frost them so clearly there is a problem.If you got that screwed up sequencing then you get a gold star. It's from Home Alone if you didn't.And now for the update:I did some talking with H this weekend. However, all that came after this amazing woman came to my rescue. Really, if someone had told me that a blogger would show up on my front step less than two hours after I … [Read more...]

Biting the Big One

I'm not quite sure where to begin. It's not like when I was younger and I could just go off for a few days, write some deeply unprofound thoughts in my journal, break a few things and take a series of long drives. I barely have time to remember to turn off the burners on the stove these days much less time to figure out what is normal.That's the thing- I don't know what is normal anymore.I don't think it is normal to keep thinking such incredibly sad, circular thoughts. Thoughts that don't even make sense. Like sitting down feeding Dash Two and remembering the death of my 6th grade friend's mother. The crack in her twelve year old voice as she called from the hospital to let me know that it had finally happened. Suddenly, that memory is playing over and over again in my mind and I feel the … [Read more...]

Wouldn’t You Like to Get Away?

Yesterday was just like that bad. I had my woman doctor appointment and I got that whole "I'm mad that I'm female thing " going on, which rarely happens, except when I'm the one who has to deal with the whole birth control issue and my craptastic insurance won't cover what is probably the "best" option for me and I decide fuck it, I don't care. I'm getting the fucking IUD and I'll just make payments on my uterus or what have you. Thanks Mirena! Does my uterus owe you interest each month too? Anyways... then I head to my gym determined to be in a better mood because HUZZAH! it's time to sign up Dash Two for the gym daycare. Only there's this big ol' note on the front door and while it's after 9 a.m. the gym is really dark. Huh. Oh right- because they are closed. For. Ever. WTF?! And then I … [Read more...]

ADT Customer Service? Pffftt…

Dear ADT (I love you, I hate you, I need to quit you),I will admit to being a safety freak. H calls our house "Fort Knox". I repeatedly lock doors and windows throughout the day and cannot sleep unless the house alarm is on. Before TD, I even locked our bedroom door dutifully each night. If I was sure I wouldn't be brought up on assault charges I would accost those of you who like to hang out in your unlocked cars in parking lots, looking over your checkbooks, talking on your phones and generally rummaging in your cars and purses while showing not a care in the world. That's right, I'm talking to you. I would yank open your car door and pull you out while yelling like a drill instructor. It would take you a second to realize you aren't being car-jacked but instead made painfully aware … [Read more...]

Let the New Year Begin

When you buy a peanut butter chocolate pie it just looks so divine. So tasty. You cannot wait to dip your fork into it and savor every bite.You have no idea the pie will meets its end like this-You think you are so civilized and then you spend New Year's with old college friends and you realize that despite owning the home, having the 2.5 kids and a dog you still end up like this on New Year's. H and co-conspirator in the pie demise, Jen. So much for keeping it simple. It took an entire day to clean that kitchen up and I'm sure there is still bits of pie stuck to some surface or other. … [Read more...]

Nope. No, Thwimp. I mean Shrimp.

I was all proud of myself too. I had just finished dinner and looked at H and declared, "Wow. That was a really good pizza I made, if I do say so myself." He agreed. Two seconds later I said, "Huh. That's weird. It's like my tongue is numb. And my throat. As if I sprayed that numbing throat spray in my mouth." I figured he would make fun of me and I would reply back with something smart in return and we would be on our merry way.Except he didn't. He said, "Your lips are swelling too. A lot." WHAT?! I ran to the bathroom and sure enough I looked like I was transforming into a fish. My throat felt tighter and my tongue even bigger. I stuck it out and it fat. WTF?! I began to panic and gulp down water.I'm allergic to nothing. Clove is the only real sensitivity I have. You light … [Read more...]

Light It Up!

Now with an Alternate Title: "Vicky's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"Uh... yeah. So if I could have lit a day on fire and just set it ablaze, yesterday would have been that day. I would have just torched that sucker after dousing it in lighter fluid or about 18 gallons of gasoline and let it burn, baby, burn.We woke up late and as I hurried us off to school- can't miss school picture day after all- I was a bit stressed but coming out of it. Nothing a good dose of "kid at school" quiet time won't fix. I ran some quick errands, did a bit of work, showered and was good to go. Relaxed and everything. Pick up from school was a whiny trek home but it was to be expected. She gets worn the hell out. What I didn't anticipate was the following:-Whining in the car.-Whining on the sidewalk … [Read more...]

My Boycott of ‘The Hills’

At first, it was just that smarmy feeling. A tiny alarm bell that went off in the back of my brain as I watched 'The Hills' transfixed by the vapidness of it all and the clothes. Ah, the clothes. The first bell sounded when Heidi moved out of Lauren's apartment to move in with Spencer. I thought, "Well, no good will come of this."The following season it happened again. I watched with more alarm and a bit of foreboding as Heidi lost all her friends and was humiliated at work and in front of her co-workers (Vegas style). At the time I was angry at her boss for placing the blame on her and not her douche of a boyfriend, Spencer. He is clearly a boy, not a man, with whom she has no control or power over and yet she was the one being penalized. It wasn't right. Yet, I continued to watch. … [Read more...]

The Bank of Frustration

Dear Giant Bank that Apparently only Recognizes My Husband as a Client:Thank you so much for alerting me to the $800 charges to my debit account two weeks ago. You were so prompt and so fast in your phone call on a late Friday night. It almost made me love you. Almost. Then I called you back and despite the late hour and 24-hour service I was put on hold for quite some time and got jokey the jokster as my service rep. "That totally sucks, sorry about that..." is not the response I want to hear when I let you know that indeed I did not spend nearly $700 at Kroger in Georgia while I was in fact racking up charges here in Virginia. Nor did I spend $100 at Home Depot in Decauter. Nope, not me. I could have gone along with your ha-ha I sound like a total stoner attitude and said that, … [Read more...]