So what do you get when you take a cranky toddler who will only nap because when she wakes up Daddy (who has been gone 3 weeks) will be home and then Daddy decides to go to the Nationals Opening Day game first so he's not home when she wakes up?You get dinner thrown at you by a toddler.That's what.You get an egg salad sandwich hurled at your face by one red-faced, crying with her mouth open and full of egg goo, hurt little toddler screaming for her Daddy.Fun times. Fun times, indeed.Then you realize that you have eaten about 12 eggs in three days and that pregnancy does indeed make you eat weird things. Maybe sky high cholesterol makes toddlers behave more like indignant monarchs?*We have a due date...November 28! More on this melodramatic saga later. … [Read more...]
The Stepford Twitch
I've talked about how I have a tendency to overextend myself over here before. It seems I just don't learn my lesson. I wanted to cut down on reviews but have I done that? Nope. I just promise away, book myself into a corner and then reap the benefits/scheduling conflicts. More and more I find myself wishing for a whole day where the phone never rings, I resist the urge to check my email and I just sit and watch so much bad television I forget I have legs and my butt loses all feeling. Come to my house that day around 9 p.m. and I would be in a wasteland of Halloween hangover inducing candy, nacho detritus and pizza crusts. My hopeful ideas of going for a run usurped by an all too compelling episode of Rob & Big or America's Next Top Model. Sounds like heaven right about now. Wait! Let … [Read more...]
A Vodka on the Rocks please, hold the Rocks
Beware of Mommy. Or just be weary of me. It should be a sign I wear around my neck today. Front to back -please read before approaching- Be weary of this woman. She's twitchy evil today. Hormones? Yes. Lack of sleep? Check.Sick of "Big, Big World" playing on the TV? You betcha! Dawson's Creek is now playing in the background only slightly more tolerable. Which one is worse is a toss up at the moment. Joey Potter always irritated me a tad bit more than ginormous head Dawson. Currently Dawson and his giant head seem to be having some sort of existential crises.Things that disturb me today and have furthered this 'woke up on the wrong side of the bed' syndrome.Rachel Ray's Voice and all her "cute" little catchphrases. EVO is going to put me into a blind rage one day. Am I the only person on … [Read more...]
Nap Situation- Critical
"Ooooooh. Uuuhhhh Oooooh." I turn and see apple yogurt glopping off T.D.'s foot and onto the floor. More importantly though a whole mess of it has splashed onto the dogs back. The dog knows it's there and is desperately twisting and turning to lick the heaven sent yogurt off her back. It's Morning in my house! The day progressed with me thinking I had to watch a neighbors kid and then realizing I got the day wrong. Tomorrow. No gym time for me either day. These pasty thighs aren't going to be summer ready until October at this point. Five bathing suits have been bought, five sent back. I'll have the perfect suit by December.Deadlines to meet. Must work! Except I can't work. T.D. won't nap. No matter what I do she just cries and cries. She's cranky. I'm cranky. The dog grumbles in a hidden … [Read more...]