You want to know what's gross?When you spill chicken soup on your jeans. Yeah it feels disgusting. Hot Soup.Wet denim. (that better not get me some bizarre hits from Google.)Stuck to your leg.Sick!You want to know what is even more disgusting?When you bend down to clean that up and fail to realize that your hair has gone into the bowl still filled with soup. When you look back up because your kid is screaming "Yicky! Gross Momma!" you get smacked in the face with wet chicken soup hair and it sticks to your cheek.Yeah, that's pretty gross. I felt like the weird girl in school who everyone thinks smells like soup after that. … [Read more...]
Random Question # 624
Do you dip? No, I don't mean tabaccy. Now that would be something. Mommybloggers who dip. Women trolling Target with those little circular indentations in their back pockets.I digress...Are you a dipper? Some people love to dip their food in things. I for one, will NOT dip my McD's french fries in anything. It taints them. I will however dip my grilled cheese in ketchup. Provided it is NOT made at home. Denny's, diners or any dining establishment that serves grilled cheese? It gets dipped. Home? No dip.And if you are so inclined read this article and tell me what you think? Is Mommy prettier now? … [Read more...]
New Obsessions
I used to obsess about handbags and cute sandals. Really. Just weeks ago. Accessories and nail polishes were like air to me. These days all my creative juices seem sapped by a guppy-sized being inhabiting my lower regions. My desires for cute butt jeans and wedge heels have transferred to working myself into a lather over just the idea of a Pizza Hut pan pizza only for me. When I sit down to work all I can think of is how brownies repulse me and the idea of a nachos bell grande seems like pure bliss. My house never feels clean and I want to change my sheets daily. I yearn to plant acres of flowers and all ideas of baking have been put aside. I am not pregnant I have had a lobotomy. People say this about mothers all the time. "Oh she had that baby and now she never goes anywhere without it. … [Read more...]
The First Trimester – Where even I don’t know myself
I remember puking over anything poultry and eating pork up to four times a day when I was pregnant with T.D. Salad made me queasy and want to ralph so badly it took me almost a year and a half to want to eat it again. Now?Now, I'm loving the fact that H just brought me two soft taco supremes from the Bell and I can down them in a sickly wolf like fashion. He should be given the Nobel Peace Prize for getting them so fast and keeping me so happy.I had to pull over STAT the other day to buy three chicken selects. No dippin' sauce. Just give me the damn selects! Only three please. Anymore and I might actually barf.This is not me. I do not eat this way. I shun french fries and almost anything sweet and want to guzzle coke from a fountain. Smartfood is my new best friend.Pizza made me sick … [Read more...]
Welcome to McDonald’s. May I Help You?
There I was running errands and so hungry I was about to chew my arm off. Either that or eat some of the tasty stuffing that Nissan has lovingly provided. I looked at the dashboard clock and realized it was close to dinner. I was in no mood to cook for just T.D. and I. I decided to grit my teeth and not think about the harm I was doing to myself or my child and just suck up the fact that tonight we were doing the drive-thru. I needed fries. Twice in one month mind you. I am hanging my head in shame right now. Do you see the grease dripping off it?As I pulled in I noticed that America does not run on Dunkin', at least not after 5 p.m. No, it runs on McDonald's. The line of cars at the drive-thru was long. At our turn I placed our order and proceeded to sit. And sit. We sat at the speaker … [Read more...]
I Feel Like I’m Beating a Dead Horse
It's over. Or is it? We still have New Year's and a trip up to grandparent country to get through. I'm sure it will be a blast but it also means the holidays just keep coming! So let's just keep eatin' and drinkin' and feeling like our pores are oozing icing and crisco. Oh and in case you are wondering this is what went down in Mummy's house this past week.One Wii has entered our home. Oh the irony. Now I get to hear H say things like-Eat. My. Butt. and other witty asides such as, I'm Killing Myself, while he plays tanks and rides cows or something. Anyone else obessesd with mowing down scarecrows?A lovely silver necklace adorns my neck.I have eaten annisette cookies, frothy hot cha cha (a T.D. delight), more ham than anyone should be allowed to eat in a year, a sodium intake that … [Read more...]
Too Much Roast Beast
Lettuce.I need lettuce. Any greens will do.Plain please. No dressing needed. Some water?TooMuchGoodFoodI am done.I don't want salt. I don't want sugar.I just want crisp greens with water. On the side.Is anyone else feeling this way after a deluge of Christmas feasting? … [Read more...]
Two Things
There are two things in the food world that get me really burned up. Well, three if you count Rachel Ray.1. Fourth Meal- Damn you Taco Bell ad and marketing executives for thinking up this disgusting ploy for more sales. Fourth Meal?! Love the SKINNY guy on the commercial smirking at his cleverness. That's right buddy- keep eating that fourth meal and the next thing you know you'll begging soda throwing Subway over there to have you as their next Jared. Fourth Meal is all that is wrong with the food culture in this country. As if obesity and all the related diseases need another push. I am so thoroughly disgusted each time I hear or see a Taco Bell commercial with this ad I want to scream. Scream and start acting like a complete nut job at some random Taco Bell kicking people out of the … [Read more...]
In a Walken Induced Coma
Am I the only one who finds this to be almost Bob Ross-like mesmerizing? I felt so calm and peaceful watching Walken cook. Can someone out there give this man a cooking show?!? Chicken and pears who would have thought? … [Read more...]
What We’re Not Going To Talk About
Are we going to talk about the delayed flight home yesterday? Nope.The jerk who made snide comments to my MiL on the flight home and then proceeded to yell at the flights staff, captain, and random airport workers as we deboarded the plane? No.How about the fact that we sat on the tarmac for an hour after sitting at the gate both in departure and deboarding? Sorry, no.We'll also not be discussing overzealous diaper changing grandparents who succeed in going through a whole box of diapers and wipes in four days. Poor T.D. but we're not talking about that either.Nor will we discuss the sheer exhaustion I now feel from only one day of traveling with a toddler even though I had help.I will only say that I adored having a TV back in my room and the Sleuth channel on Direct TV rocks! There is … [Read more...]