11:38 a.m.- "Come on TD, we have to get a move on! It's time to go to Gymboree!" I glance at The Comedian and think, "I should change you...." and I scoop her up out of the Bumbo.11:39 a.m.- "WTF? Oh all that is holy in this world, why now?! Seriously kid? This is disgusting!!" I moan. "What's disgusting, Mommy?" TD asks. "Your sister. She just pooped EVERYWHERE! I don't even know if I'm qualified to clean this type of mess up. I might need to make a few phone calls..."11:41 a.m.- Poop. It is everywhere. I quickly move from the pack and play to the nursery. The shirt cannot be salvaged. Neither can the burp cloth I have laying on the changing table. I have already used about a days worth of wipes in the last two minutes. We don't have time for the tub. This is totally an … [Read more...]
McCafe is What is Wrong with America
Have you seen the most recent McDonald's McCafe commercials where they take your ordinary humdrum words like commute and shuttle and add an accent on the 'e' and suddenly it makes everything all better?That commercial right there is kin the Dunkin Donuts tagline, "America Runs on Dunkin'", which just screams at me so much that is wrong with our country. We are all about the quick and dirty, easy peasy instant gratification way of doing things. We want it when we want it and we don't want to wait for something that might be better for us. I see commercials like the McCafe ones and not only do I want to hurl something at my television for butchering our language but I just groan with how Americans think we can just keep going like this always looking for a shortcut and cheaper … [Read more...]
Splish Splash I Hate the Pool
I'm just going to admit this up front- I hate the pool.My husband? He seems to love the pool. I've actually begun to dread this time of year as of late because I know it means only one thing. He is going to want to go to the pool. Do I hate the pool because it means I have to get into a bathing suit? No.Do I hate the pool because of the tons of screaming children and loud cannon balling teenagers? A bit.Do I hate the pool because the women's locker/rest room is a stinkin' hive of germs and wet toilet paper on the floor but never on the roll where it belongs and out of the three toilets usually only one is flushed? That one? It usually has a brown mucky poop-laced water on the floor around it. YES! YES! I hate the pool for that reason. I feel like TD and I need a round of shots … [Read more...]
The Hills They Break Me
Holy Mountain of Death... it must be ninety-bazillion degrees outside and my legs feel like they are in cement casings. Where is my runners high? Where in all that is holy and stamped with a Nike swoosh is my moment of running zen?! I am deep in the trenches of one month of running. The times are getting longer and my body is telling me to quit. The hills in my 'hood are r-e-lent-less. I'm not playing around here and my lower body knows it. My heart having been gargled by Jillian for weeks beforehand is quite up to the task. My feet are sufficiently callused from years of doing the Avon Walk. It's my mind and my legs that are weak. They see another hill coming and just want to cave. The brain says, "Hey legs...psstt...legs...up here. Listen, you don't have to take this punishment … [Read more...]
Anna Wintour to spotlight ‘Little Houses’
I'm giving you a quote to discuss today because my life recently consists of nocturnal journeys to the tiny tot bedrooms in my house and my current my main objective of the day is to find out exactly where that puke smell is coming from, I don't care who it came from, I just need to know the where.Anna Wintour, editor of the ginormous fashion tome known as Vogue, recently stated that the magazine will do a story about obesity. Be still my heart. Vogue is going to address something relevant? Fascinating. Can you tell I'm more of an Elle girl? I digress. Here's the quote, discuss in the comments. Really, people. I want some discussion. No more reading for free I say!"I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only kindly describe most of the people I saw as little houses."Love the use … [Read more...]
Drunk
"What's drunk?" TD asked startling me. While she had been upstairs napping I was taking advantage of the quiet time to get in an episode or two of 'Freaks and Geeks'. Apparently she had been in stealth mode and watching the show with me for a bit. Wonderful, I thought. She's three and already I'm having the conversation with her about drinking. I tried my best to explain that being drunk is when grown-ups sometimes drink too much wine or beer. It isn't good for them and we should never, ever get into cars with drunk people. EVER. To go into more detail than that would have been over her head. Right?She looked at me, smiled and said, "Daddy has too much beer and then he is drunk! Then I have too much juice and then I am drunk!" Thank goodness school is done for the year because I … [Read more...]
The Triple Threat
I turn 33 today. H has been calling me 'the Triple Threat' for the last few weeks. Technically, I think I need to be 333 years old if I really want to be a triple threat but if I were 333 I don't think I would be too much of a threat to anyone except Medicare. In the past I've had my share of bad birthday karma but since my twenties I have evaded it quite nicely. H works his butt off each year to make sure it doesn't happen. This year we went away as a family for a quiet weekend at my MIL's on the water. We had an amazing night out with drinks followed by a perfect dinner for two. The next day as I was reading on the couch (read: half asleep for the second nap of the day.) my parents burst in the door surprising me with a visit. If I count the night out, the surprise visit, and a fabulous … [Read more...]
Shining Star
Nostalgia week comes to an end today with this final and fifth post- There was nothing safe about him. He wasn't my type in looks or what I thought was his personality. To say that he took a while to grow on me would be an understatement but then again, the feeling was mutual. After three years of dating on and off through www.camsodareview.com, H and I were to be married. It seemed like a handful of lifetimes had passed during those three years and especially now with just months to our wedding day we were worlds apart. San Diego for me and Okinawa, Japan for him. Between 3 a.m. phone calls, instant messaging and emails we were putting our wedding together. Sadly, because of this distance I never felt so alone. This man, whose smile promised me that we would 'live a life less … [Read more...]
Second Floor, High Numbers
Nostalgia week continues here with day four-It's Friday night. Excitement for the weekend has been building all week. As you walk down the hallway of McEwen Hall, second floor, the high numbers (as we liked to be known) one could feel the humidity in the air from at least ten different showers all pouring forth their hot steaminess. A million various sweet smells from perfumes, hairsprays and competing scented body lotions all mingled together at once to dizzy your senses. That was the point, right? Passing by each room you could easily hear about ten different types of music from southern rock to real country, disco, rap and those drinking songs you never forget. Girls scurried across the hall, throwing clothing from Contempo Casuals and J. Crew back and forth, scrutinizing every detail … [Read more...]
Firsts
Part three of Nostalgia week continues- It was a summer of firsts. I was seventeen and just like the song by the Stray Cats, I needed to let off a little steam. I wanted to be on my own so bad and yet I had no idea how in the world I was supposed to get out of my little village of a town. To top it off E was taking a job as a nanny (seriously E? What was that about?!) in the Sag Harbor/East Hampton, NY area and we would be apart for most of the summer. I thought I was going to just curl up into a dried ball of debris and die. The summer yawned before me a in a dull, hazy way that seemed to float on forever with absolutely no point if I didn't have my partner in crime. That is until it was decided I should take a few weekends to visit E up in NY. Now the taste of freedom was on the tip … [Read more...]