Holy Mountain of Death... it must be ninety-bazillion degrees outside and my legs feel like they are in cement casings. Where is my runners high? Where in all that is holy and stamped with a Nike swoosh is my moment of running zen?! I am deep in the trenches of one month of running. The times are getting longer and my body is telling me to quit. The hills in my 'hood are r-e-lent-less. I'm not playing around here and my lower body knows it. My heart having been gargled by Jillian for weeks beforehand is quite up to the task. My feet are sufficiently callused from years of doing the Avon Walk. It's my mind and my legs that are weak. They see another hill coming and just want to cave. The brain says, "Hey legs...psstt...legs...up here. Listen, you don't have to take this punishment … [Read more...]
Randomness #235- I look like Harry Potter
-Those crazy folks at Poo-pourri are at it again- "Poo~Pourri is a spray deodorizer designed to be sprayed directly onto the toilet bowl water before you go. The secret blend essential oils create a film on the surface of the toilet water that acts as a barrier to trap odors inside." Secret blend? Makes me think of the Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices and to never wanting to eat fried chicken ever again.-I stopped shredding and gained four pounds. Probably because I also consumed four pounds of cadbury eggs, chocolate marshmallow bunnies and a load of Hershey products all in a few short weeks. My insides feel disgusting. Time to detox! Who's coming with me?!-I read that Speidi will be honeymooning in Mexico. Can it be true? Will the apocalypse caused by this union be diverted if … [Read more...]
I Confess
Forgive me Jillian for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last Shred. I didn't mean to lapse for so long but by day five of level two my knees had just about had it. No amount of working with Anita was helping either. I swear I'll do double pilates today and jog for ten minutes in place to appease you, Ms. Michael's. Just don't make me gargle my heart too hard when I jump bag on the Shredhead wagon to hell, er I mean weight loss and ultimate fitness. Can I please drop and give you twenty and just erase the Easter candy debacle of 2009, the cookies, brownies, french fries and that pitcher of Sangria I had just last week? I don't know how I imbibed all that wine, I swear! … [Read more...]
The Biggest Weakling
Oh.My.Lord.I would not say I was over confident by any means. I finally finished Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred yesterday and I knew if I was going to make any more progress I was going to just have to jump into Level 2 today. Then there was that tax email from H that had loads of questions that were just burning to be answered. Being the dutiful partner that I am I got right to it. Not that I was putting off shredding or anything. *cough*First, let me just say that Level 2 has music that sounds like a bad 70s porno full of "wang, wang, wang" sounds. Intentional? Perhaps. Second, Level 2 is like entering the fifth ring of hell with all its plank positions and major ab work. There are teeny tiny muscles in my shoulders that thought they could quietly atrophy into themselves but Jillian … [Read more...]
I Cry Do Over!
So yesterday was a total wash. At least as far as living a healthy shredding lifestyle. There were doctor appointments for me and TD, and a sleepless night broke us. Numerous visits to the pharmacy and I finally got to see the psychiatrist for my postpartum depression diagnosis. It was simply put a very long and exhausting day. Do any of us really want to review our whole psych history in under an hour and dredge up all our little and not so little issues in that short amount of time? No, not really. Do we want to leave that cozy office with its box of endless tissues and go out into the blaring sun and head back into our everyday life? Not me. I just wanted to take a big nap.I did learn one thing yesterday. When I'm stressed and tired it is oh so clear that I reach for one thing. … [Read more...]
Shred, Shred, Shred!
Just when I think I can take no more I imagine myself standing in the middle of a circle of faceless people shouting, "Shred! Shred! Shred!" as if I'm about to do a keg stand instead of air punches and squats. It keeps me motivated I swear. When my arms feel like they are going to break off at the shoulder and fall on the floor writhing in agony because Man! circuit three strength training hurts so good and yes, hurts so freakin' bad I need all the encouragement I can get. I'm on day seven of Shredding and hallelujah it is working! As I type I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought back in my pre-Dash Two days. It's exhilarating. I have more energy, sleep more soundly (minus those times when TD wakes up at 4 a.m. crying for Chapstick) and really do feel like that twenty minutes of … [Read more...]
I love the smell of sweat in the morning
It smells like victory.Am breathless. Sweaty. Want to rip off all my clothes and lay on the floor panting. Jillian Micheal's and her 30 Day Shred just pulverized me and in front of my innocent children.Going into my first day of the 30 Day Shred Challenge I had no idea what to think. H ripped the factory sealed plastic off the DVD as soon as he got home last night and immediately fired up the DVD player. After watching my former Marine husband sweat profusely from just twenty minutes I got a little bit afraid. Then I thought, Pfftt.. I did an hour and a half of this stuff all last year. I'll be fine. My body will remember.HA! I am not just breathless and sweaty but also profoundly delusional. Apparently getting knocked up performs a lobotomy on your muscles. The muscles in my thighs are … [Read more...]