I need a healing right now. My mind is a whizzing blur of tangled thoughts. I feel like a glowing orb of sad feelings is just emanating from me non-stop. Starting marriage counseling is probably for the best. Once started though it gets the ball rolling for more open and frank discussions that are usually left unsaid. That seems so much easier doesn't it? Not in the long run for anyone of us I know but right now I feel like a pretty sucktastic person and mother. I'm too addled and confused to feel real relevant or like I am imparting any wisdom and life skills on anyone. So I'm going to do something nice for someone else. Crunchy Chewy Mama has a friend in need. Liz has always been there for Jessica when she was in need and now Liz, a mother … [Read more...]
What is the Definition of Forgiveness?
As I was driving to the gym yesterday I was mulling over this post in my head. I knew that I needed to continue with the writing exercise that is the Thirty Days of Truth. This being post four (am sloth-like in this practice!) it's all about forgiveness. The forgiving of someone else, that is. I feel like the Church Lady should be sitting next to me preaching right about now. I thought and thought. And thought. Do I forgive the man who tried to wrench me out of a drugstore at age eight and throw me in his car with the promise of toys? I just can't go there. Why forgive a stranger who wanted to instill nothing but harm my way? I feel nothing but relief over that whole ordeal. Relief that it didn't happen and thankfulness that my mother saved the day. I can't forgive someone … [Read more...]
I love you, I hate you. I can’t quit you, but I must
Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date January 12, 2008. They say the average smoker quits nine times before they are seriously done. Like everyone else I adamantly proclaim each year that I do not make new year's resolutions. No way. Not me. Never. Even this year as the clock struck twelve I denied making any. Except I lie. I have a secret. I made a resolution. I am a cliche. Call it a pact, if you will, with my spouse. We have decided to quit smoking.It is one thing to quit smoking because smokers are now deemed social pariahs. Yes, we do know it is quite unhealthy. Deadly I hear. Smoking kills more women than it does men. I know this fact as well. I also know that is incredibly hard to be a runner and smoke. Trust me on that one. For all my … [Read more...]
Copy Cat for Cancer
I know I'm fascinating and all what with my talk of butts to be wiped, sleepless nights and updates on my writin' skilz. But as I say to TD more often than I would like, "It's not always about you." Today, it's about Susan. A woman I admire and am proud to call a fellow bloggy friend needs our thoughts, prayers, good vibes or whatever it is you want to send her way. She's starting a clinical trial today for cancer. She needs us. Go read her post from today. And read this bit too. It's about Cricket's Answer and LympheDIVAS. If you comment on this post I'll donate a dollar for every non-spam comment (up to 100 comments) to the LympheDIVAS and Cricket's Answer so that a woman who needs lymphedema sleeves can have them. They can … [Read more...]
She’s a Rock Star
I'm just going to say this and I don't care what anyone thinks- those women you see- those average, every day, non-celebrity women who have more than one kid they have tote around and are still in great shape. Those women are freakin' rock stars.Getting to the gym with one kid in a baby carrier and the other still not fully mobile is rough. In fact, it is all sorts of demotivation in one giant diaper bag, sippy cup involving mountain. Staying motivated to work out after the kids are up and in my face is hard too, but Shredding or doing Pilate's from home can be easier than treking to the gym. Unless you face what I did today. One Comedian sitting on my abs during sit-ups. One Comedian hugging my legs as I tried to do jumping jacks.One heavy toddler putting … [Read more...]
Computer No Worky
I was all set to write a bit on the progress I feel I and H are making. And then this happened-Those grey spots are all missing pieces on my keyboard that The Comedian felt should no longer exist. I may be going dark for a few days people. I'm working from my desktop right now and I feel like it is 1995 and I just got the Internets into my dorm room.Anyone have a laptop they want to give me that doesn't weigh 18 pounds? Heh. … [Read more...]
Words Opened Doors
Someone said to me recently, "You have to start being really careful about what you put on Facebook." And no, it wasn't my mother that said this. When I asked what this person was talking about it all had to do with Words. Of course.Except, here is the thing, Facebook picks up my blog. Words was picked up and posted there just like all the others. I'm fine with that. H is fine with that. Yes, it was deeply personal but anyone that knows me also knows that being deeply personal is pretty much what I am all about. I've talked about the raw, dark deal that Post Partum Depression is- twice. I've written about domestic violence and its personal ties to me. So there's that.Since Words, things have changed in our house. That post opened … [Read more...]
Trying Not to Enjoy the Silence
Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date January 24, 2008.Maybe it is the January blues and I'm simply suffering from SAD. Maybe it is the fact that I have hit that glorious year mark of being a work at home mom. A WAHM who is trying to break into the freelance writing world and I look back and think, "WTF?! Have I done anything of note? What the hell do I have to do around here to get a freakin' job already." When you spend hours of your day searching for work and writing up queries that you know you have no knack for you start to get a little edgy. Then the edginess wears off and you begin to feel downright pathetic and sad. That would be right now. Over here in the corner. Yup. That is me alright. The woman wearing gray and not wanting to comb her hair. … [Read more...]
More Truthiness
Continuing into the new year I'm going to keep doing the Thirty Days of Truth. I figure by next December I'll be at number fifteen at least. Today's post is sponsored by the letter F, as in Forgiveness. Write about something you have to forgive yourself for. I asked a few people this question about themselves and got no real answers. It's not a question you can just ask off the cuff, I suppose. I know I have been brooding about it for quite a bit. I'm a live with no regrets type person so trying to find something I have to forgive myself for is quite difficult. I forgave myself for the bad relationships I entered into a long time ago. I forgave myself for spending my first two years of college miserable, at a school that was not a good … [Read more...]
Randomness 2011 Style
If you type in 'Black Swan' into Netflix it will tell you that you might also like films such as, 'In Bruges' and 'Fight Club'. While I haven't seen 'Black Swan' that certainly tells me quite a lot about it right there. It's on the list now. James Franco might only be co-hosting the Oscars this year (so far) but I wouldn't be surprised if he was also trying to pull a "Pinky and Brain" on us. With that secretive smile that guy is everywhere these days. General Hospital, losing an arm in 127 Hours, slathering on the makeup in Candy and writing a book. Somehow I still think of him as Daniel from 'Freaks and Geeks'. Speaking of the Oscars, does anyone else think that Anne Hathaway co-hosting the event is a bit bizarre? They may be trying to reach a … [Read more...]